The 2009 New Professional

A Happy Anniversary

2010-07-06T18:38:00.011-04:00

Today is the 1-year anniversary of my first day of full-time work in Student Affairs. Appropriately so, this will be my final blog post.

Though I can hear the collective gasps of shock and sadness from my mom and grandparents (haha), I'm sure they and my other loyal readers can understand why the time has come to say goodbye to my official blogging duties. My reign as "The 2009 New Professional" must give way to the upcoming chronicles of "The 2010 New Professional," as they dive into what I can only hope is as challenging, rewarding, fun, and special a year as I have had.

Sometimes I feel like the year just started, and other times I realize just how much has happened and how much I have grown. Sometimes I even feel like I am just beginning my journey towards learning about Student Affairs -- as a high school senior trading emails with an Academic Advisor I'd never met, asking her with curiosity and enthusiasm, "how can I do what you do?" Over the past 6 years I have tested out different institutions, office environments, functional areas, and roles. Each experience has helped me define what is important to me as a professional in this field, and where and how I want to accomplish all I believe I can.

My grandfather -- arguably one of my biggest fans -- wrote me a letter the other day regarding this blog. He told me that as he has read my posts over the past few months, he has felt as though he was "in the presence of greatness." Though I don't know that I am able to claim today the type of 'greatness' he sees in me, I can't deny my excitement for what's to come in my career. I am not a scholar and have no plans to conduct field-altering research. I am not sure if I will ever be a Director of Career Services, or if that's even the end goal I am striving for. But I DO know that I have purpose, I have passion, and that the love and energy I put into my work WILL help students - one by one. As a colleague of mine once wistfully noted, 'we [as College Student Development professionals] may never BE amazing scientists or wealthy business owners or world political leaders...but we can SUPPORT and SHAPE the young minds who will directly change the world with their talents, and in this way, we ourselves will have had a hand in that change.'

I truly believe our work is important -- every part of it; every discussion or resource or program. Facilitating a residence hall game night gives students somewhere to develop friendships and have fun in a safe environment. Supervising a Greek life philanthropy event helps students put their own lives in perspective while actively improving society around them. Putting on a resume writing workshop can help students gain confidence and move them towards securing career exploration experiences. Hosting an intercultural dialogue between individuals and/or student organizations can foster mutual understanding and respect. An individual conversation with a student, whether in a counseling session or in the dining hall or on the bus or passing by their dorm room can mean the difference between a student feeling welcome, important, and happy...or lonely and lost. If anyone feels like they are in the "presence of greatness" each day, it is me. I am proud to be part of the Student Affairs profession and look forward to contributing as much as I can in the years to come.

I am not good with goodbyes, so instead I will say thank you -- to my readers, to my family, to my coworkers, to my students, and to Stu Brown and StudentAffairs.com -- for pushing me, supporting me, inspiring me, and providing me with opportunities to both express myself and continue becoming who I strive to be.

With Love,
The 2009 New Professional

Summer Students

2010-06-28T10:16:00.007-04:00

This summer has surprised me.

Mid-May through Mid-August in my office is dedicated to evaluating the past year and planning for the next. We do a lot of looking at calendars, meeting with different committees, and writing up reports. Oddly, the one thing I do a bit more sparingly in the summer is see students. I'll get the occasional email request or life update, and there have been more phone appointments scheduled than usual. But the number of students I have actually had sitting in my office in the past few months has been minimal.

On a day full of planning, I admittedly have found myself a little bummed out that I would have to put on my "advising hat" and get back into that mode, when I was already so focused on whatever it was I had been working on all day. However, the students I've come into contact with this summer have found a special place in my heart. After a busy year of seeing hundreds of students, sometimes in up to 8 individual appointments a day, it's easy to let students become a "them," a singular unit. One big mass of college co-eds that comes in asking for help (some more nicely than others) and either stays in touch or fades out of my day-to-day life. There are a handful of students that have really stayed on my mind and in my email inbox throughout the year. These include the first few students I ever worked with when I was doing shadowing and co-counseling, and many others that I've referenced in this blog because we developed the kind of relationship where them saying "thank you" came naturally and was merely an extra gift for me upon seeing them succeed. But on the whole, the students I saw during the year wanted to get in quick and be out of my hair as soon as possible, whether I wanted to see them go or not.

I have about 10 students who have come into my life since the school year has ended. Some are May 2010 grads who felt that after graduation they could finally breathe and focus on their job, gap-year, or graduate school search and wanted some guidance. Others are ahead-of-the-game underclassmen who wanted to start making a game plan for next year's job and internship applications with me before school started up again and they became overwhelmed by classes and commitments. Some just wanted a quick look over their resume or personal statements, or to converse over the phone and/or email because they happened to be abroad and had some career-related questions.

The thing these students had in common? A sense of gratefulness, a need for confirmation that their efforts were worthwhile and timely, and...a more attentive and relaxed counselor. Without a dozen other things that I HAVE to get done each summer day or risk falling behind, I've found it easier to really focus on each of these students. I listen more, ask better questions, follow up with more resources via email, and am sure to schedule follow-up appointments as needed. I have noticed each of them leaving my office (or hanging up the phone) with a lightness about them, and the enthusiasm to either continue on the journey with me or head out into the world on their own. It's been great to observe and experience.

My one feeling of concern? How to keep this kind of relationship building and effective counseling intact during the school year. Not only do I not want to lose track of THESE students once the hustle and bustle picks up again, but I also want to be conscious of either giving this much attention and care to the students I see September - April, OR figure out the best way to provide service with this same amount of heart, but more efficiently when time is of the essence. It's kind of like trying to come up with a recipe for a sugar-free dessert, without it tasting artificial or store-bought. Made-from-scratch counseling in a take-out time of year. Hmm.

I've definitely learned the value of seeing a student for multiple in-person appointments, as well as spending the appropriate (for them) duration of time together. While in the summer I can sit with a student for an hour at a time, during the school year I am typically limited to 30-minute appointments. With what I know now, this may mean scheduling more follow-up appointments with fall clients, in the hopes that we can create the same bond and accomplish the same amount in four 30-minute meetings as we would in two 1-hour meetings. At least worth a try.

Though they may be harder to request during the school year than they are in the summer when students don't have REGULAR homework to do, I have found that "assignments" between appointments are really helpful. If we talk about a certain career path of interest and they want to discuss finding internships in that field next time we meet, having them do independent research on that industry (training/education requirements, major related companies, salary averages, seeing if any alumni work in the field that they could conduct informational interviews with) will only make our future conversations flow better and make them feel more in-control of their own destiny. So many students come in saying they want us to just hand them a list of opportunities to apply for. But we realize that's not REALLY what they want OR need -- they need to feel confident about where they are headed and what they can offer; they need to be informed about the best choices out there for them and the people who might be able to help them learn and succeed. As I have stated in the past, the role of a career advisor is not actually to provide answers. It is to provide questions that help students find their own answers and come up with their own ideas. Take-home work in between appointments helps students take ownership, and if I can get them to do it during the year, I can just see the general feeling of panic fading now...

The last way I can see taking my summer success with students into the fall and spring is an exercise of willpower. I simply need to continue being what I consider "my true counseling self." When I feel relaxed and confident in an appointment, I deliver an optimal balance of challenge and support (tough love + encouragement; hard questions + validation of their answers). I remember to listen more than I talk, and pay attention to the non-verbal cues students are giving that may indicate whether they want to tell me more, or move on to the next topic or resource. When I am at my best, I don't go running off on one tangent before the student specifically asks us to focus there. I slow it down, verbally, mentally, and physically. Now, "slowing it down" may not FEEL feasible during the school year. But somehow I need to trick myself into doing so, because a rushed/scattered/nervous 30-minute appointment is not good for either party. I need to look at appointments in the big-picture -- the first one as an intro, and each subsequent meeting as a check-in/follow-up as we head towards a future goal. I need to just let myself BE myself and give each student my best.

I am curious to see which of my summer students carries our communication into the fall. Some may find themselves too busy as they dive into their schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Some may want to pick up right where we left off. Either way, I will make a conscious effort to provide them with the same level of "customer service" (if you will) as I've been able to these past few months. And include their peers who either start or resume seeing me in the fall in my new-found quest for consistently great appointments.

The Importance of Keeping It in the Family

2010-06-16T19:41:00.004-04:00

If you're not a Student Affairs person, you probably don't understand just how difficult our work is. And you may be stunned to realize you are unable to hack it.

This past week, my office had the third person resign in less than a year. And these were not people who had been working in the field for many years, or even in our office for more than 5 months. No, these folks each resigned from newly acquired roles within our department, leaving gaping holes and a frustrated bunch of coworkers in their wake.

Many people in our office are asking "what is wrong with US? what did WE do wrong to make them want to leave?" I choose to look at things differently. I KNOW our office is made up of a great group of supportive, smart, fun people. We may have our quirks and flaws, but we are still a family. I got to thinking about what it was about THESE three people we had hoped to add to our team that led to their demise. The common denominator? They had no background in Student Affairs.

Our office tries to be open minded when it comes to hiring. We know that there are skills and personality traits people can bring from a variety of industries and life experiences. We have interviewed HR professionals, corporate managers, non-profit leaders, college professors, and community counselors. We have met some great candidates, and many have successfully convinced us they were "the one" for that particular job, and we decided to hire them over other their competitors. But unfortunately, many of our non-Higher Ed hires have simply not stuck.

Looking back, and looking at the staff members who have stayed with our office for the past year, two years, five years, ten years...we each had previous experience in student affairs prior to working in our current roles. Whether as undergraduate interns, graduate assistants, residence life professionals, higher ed/student affairs master's program grads, or employees in another area of college student development, we have all had exposure to what student affairs is all about. As I have mentioned often in this blog, our work requires some late nights and occasional weekend retreats. We are constantly learning new trends and theories in regards to college students, and responding as best we can to individuals who simply don't follow any of the normal patterns. We need and give off a lot of energy, and often get very little thanks for what we do. It is a job for the big-hearted, but not the faint-of-heart. I think a lot of people look at our work and say "oh that would be so easy, just staying in college forever, working with young people!" As my fallen colleagues have obviously learned, this is simply not the case. Student Affairs work is demanding, even in quiet moments. It requires humility and sacrifice and prioritizing and love. And some folks just aren't ready to give themselves fully to the job and hang in there for the wild ride.

While it would be easy to dwell on the people we have lost along the way, I would rather celebrate those of us in the Higher Ed world who deeply care about these students, enough to put our own sleep and glory and financial prosperity on hold or completely out of our minds. The professionals in this field who are hungry to learn and experience more about college student development, facing new challenges and bending instead of breaking when things get tough. Those who make an effort to serve on campus committees and collaborate with different departments and individuals to build relationships and put on the best programs for students. We are an awesome group of people! We may not always get along, and we may not stay in the field forever...but those who have taken the time to live and learn in the realm of Student Affairs understand what is required to succeed and create the best living and learning experience for our students.

Thank you to everyone reading this blog, and everyone who is too busy working with and for students to read this blog (ha). I am proud to call you colleagues and wish you well in all your pursuits! HANG IN THERE!!

Art Immitates Life: MTV's Hired

2010-06-06T13:23:00.008-04:00

A few weeks ago, a coworker brought to my attention that there was an MTV show I should begin adding to my DVR list: MTV's new reality series "Hired."

As a viewer of many other MTV reality shows (Real World, The Hills, RW/RR Challenges -- don't judge), I said "sure, why not" to checking out this new series. When she explained it, it sounded like just the thing a college career counselor would WANT to watch for fun and research. The premise of each 30-minute episode is that a company (typically something in the design, media, or entertainment world at this point) has an open entry-level position that needs filling. They have the show's main recruiter/staffing agent do the initial screening of resumes and conduct short interviews. Candidates, mostly recent college grads, show up for the interview and are asked a few basic questions. The recruiter offers feedback on their resumes, interview question answers, and general demeanor. This guy has a nice way of being brutally honest while not coming across as a jerk -- good pick, MTV.

Once the recruiter chooses approximately 5-7 candidates to make it through his test, these individuals head off to a first-round interview on-site with the employer. Here, they typically meet their (often eccentric) boss for some questioning. Three people make it through to the final round, which often involves a project or hands-on test of some kind and a bit of prep work. In the end, the hiring managers walk you through what they liked and didn't like about each candidate, you see them call to make the job offer to their favorite person (and rejection calls to the other two - ouch), and then they give you a "one month later" update on their progress. The updates have ranged from "learning quickly and exceeding expectations" to "decided to quit after the first few days to seek out a bigger-name company" (GASP! How RUDE!).

It is actually a very interesting show that I've enjoyed watching for the past few weeks -- probably about 10 episodes total at this point. As a college career counselor, there are a number of things that have stuck out to me as great examples for students to take to heart and a few things that I believe are suited for this particular show or industry, but that not everyone should abide by:

1 - A different few episodes now, the recruiter has asked a candidate "You have a nose/tongue/eye brow ring. Are you planning to take it out for the interview?" Assuming the answer is yes, the candidate says they will, to which the recruiter replies, "I think you should keep it in. It shows your uniqueness and you wouldn't want them to hire you without one and then get a bad vibe on the first day when you wear one into the office." While I get what he's saying about wanting an employer to like you for who you are and not hire you under false pretenses, to me, the answer is NO you should not wear it, and it is simply because it's a distraction! Whether it's a nose ring, nice chandelier earrings, or bangle bracelets that jingle whenever you move, I always tell students that they should keep their accessories to a minimum. If there is anything on your face or body, including jewelry, that has the chance of capturing your conversation partner's attention more than what you are saying...you should get rid of it before the interview. Anything dangling, sparkling, clinging, giving you a slight lisp...all distractions. I would hope that in the course of an interview you could tell if a hiring manager or company is formal/strict enough that they would judge you for wearing piercings at work. And if that's the case, it's up to you to decide, if you get the offer, if you'd rather have the job or the jewelry. Overall, though, I'd say little to no accessories at a job interview, including facial piercings beyond your ear lobes.

2 - I've noticed that most young adults heading into each interview round on the show are NOT dressed in "interview attire." I've maybe seen one or two suit-clad candidates so far. Most are wearing casual clothes or something really trendy. Now, this is where I think the industry aspect comes into play. If you are interviewing for a famous gym where the male owner dresses in flamboyant, rock-star-esque clothing and wears a chest-bearing shirt during the interview, one can expect that you'd be a tad overdressed in dress slacks and a tie. When interviewing at a shoe company for a shoe designer position, it is critical to wear something funky and fashionable on your feet, if not simply THAT brand (which I would have told them all to do, but that's beside the point). I will admit that fashion, entertainment, art, fitness...this is a different world than most of the students I serve will end up interviewing in. I'm not sure how much coaching they were given on this show about attire, but I still say that for most industries you should default to a dark-colored suit (for men and women). However, if you know anything specific about the company culture and/or ask an HR person or current employee what to wear to the interview and they give another idea...go with that. I don't mind overdressing, but if you're interviewing for a job that will require you wearing work boots, jeans, and a hat everyday, you can probably feel comfortable toning down your interview outfit to something that nods towards "business casual." If other students have told you that Abercrombie wants its interviewees to wear their clothes, including their jeans, to the interview, then that's what you should do. When in doubt, ask your recruiter or HR rep!

3 - The thing that frustrates me most about the candidates I've seen is the lack of questions they have for the recruiter and employer interviewers. Every episode I see the hiring manager ask "do you have any questions for us about the company, the job, or anything else?" and a shocking number of candidates just give a dumb look and say "nope, I don't." WRONG ANSWER. One should ALWAYS come prepared with a small handful of thoughtful questions to ask the interviewer for just this reason. Or at least take a minute sitting there in the chair and come up with one on the spot! Never say no. Luckily, MTV seems to share my view, as they often highlight the stupidity and awkwardness of saying you have zero questions. And those candidates usually don't make it through to the next round. Live and learn.

There are many moments when watching Hired that I say "yes! exactly! you tell 'em!" and smile to myself that the advice I give to my students is grounded in real-life hiring scenarios. There are a lot of bad resumes and interviewers out there, and if students can just put a little extra care into prep for these two things, they will be miles ahead of the rest. Whether they learn it from a recruiter, a career counselor, a parent, or watching MTV, I think it's great that popular culture is taking a stab at showing young adults how to succeed in the job search process.

This show is one of a few different MTV attempts to give the world a glimpse into the work of Student Affairs professionals, whether through our own lenses or simply by profiling the students we serve. It's fun to watch and I think it's important for younger kids who will one day be entering college and searching for employment to laugh at and hopefully learn from the mistakes of their peers that ended up on television for one reason or another. I find that it rings true that I can tell a student (or my own younger siblings) how they should do something, or why they should NOT do something, and more often than not they will believe me LESS than when it comes from someone they see on TV, another student or recent grad who talks to them personally or in a presentation, or an employer. So, I've begun to not take offense to this and instead just do my best to bring students and these other sources together. So if any undergrads (or grad students) are reading this, or parents of teens/young adults who may be out on the job search soon...have them watch this show. It'll say much more than you will ever have to about the do's and don'ts in the interview process.

If you're curious and want to check out the show for yourself:
http://www.mtv.com/shows/hired/series.jhtml

Work Friends Part 2

2010-05-31T10:10:00.004-04:00

A few months ago I wrote a post regarding the fine line between coworker and comrade.

Since then, the dust has settled a bit and it has become clear who in my office wants to build and sustain friendships with colleagues, and who is content to coexist professionally without dedicating any extra energy to developing closer bonds. Though there are always a select few people in an office of almost two dozen people that get on my nerves or make me angry from time to time, I feel blessed to call most of them true friends -- people I can count on and laugh with, and people I actually WANT to spend time with outside of the office. Last night, for example, a few of us decided to spend part of our memorial day weekend going out for dinner and drinks together. After venting for a while about some of our more frustrating colleagues, one of the women with us blurted out "I just wanted to make it clear that besides the few bad eggs, I really DO love working in our office with all of you!" The rest of us laughed and nodded in agreement. As a young professional, I feel quite lucky that I have folks I can share aspects of my personal life with, knowing they are interested, and be confident that this will only improve how well we work together on teams in the office. I have always been a believer in relationship-based leadership -- the idea that people who you care for and know you care for them will be more willing to work with you towards a common goal. It makes people's faults easier to forgive, or confront them about, since you know they will likely not take it as personally. It helps you understand the whole story -- that when they don't get a report done, it's probably because their mother is sick, or they just broke up with their significant other, or they were out of town for the weekend. You are more likely to pick up the slack for a friend than for someone who doesn't treat you well. As my mom likes to say, kindness is always returned, and I'll add that, often, so is rudeness. So in my office, I continue to be the person who plans many of our social gatherings, is almost always willing to go to lunch with someone at the drop of a hat, and asks others about their home lives, because I know it means something to me when others do the same.

The other week, we had a bridal shower for one of my coworkers. We pulled together one of our now-famous potlucks and had a great time sitting in a big circle of chairs, celebrating a big life event for someone we work side-by-side with. Later that week, some of us took her out for an impromptu "bachelorette party," complete with tiara and feather boa. Even though we only stayed out til 8pm, it was fun to show our true excitement for her big day. None of us were invited to the wedding, but it didn't matter -- we were just happy to share with her what we could. As she left town, she sent me a text message saying "thank you for all your support these past few months." I replied with "of course!" because that was my first thought. You are my coworker and my friend, what would I do BUT support you?

I realize that not everyone is surrounded by as many coworkers that care deeply about each other as I am. I also know that not every job I've held has rewarded me with friendships or even people I wanted to stay in touch with when the employment term ended. At present, I am working to focus purely on the people who see value in sustaining friendships with me, as opposed to dwelling on anyone who has made it clear they are not interested in knowing me outside of work. As my partner often tells me, "you can't be everyone's best friend." Though it's definitely true, I work hard to convince myself of this fact each time I meet a new person. It is such as part of my heart to want to include them in everything and be someone they can confide in and invite them out for meals with the group. Though I know this is a strength in many respects, it is also a weakness - a soft spot open to be jabbed by those who may not even mean to, but just decide to prioritize other things and people over their coworkers. For them, life is too short not to be spent thinking of and being with their own family, friends, projects, community groups, commitments, etc. And who am I to say that's not okay? As long as someone is cordial and agreeable with me in our professional interactions, I should consider any additional conversation or company a treat and a gift. Setting myself up for pleasant surprises, instead of disappointment. Sounds like a promising idea right? I'll certainly keep working on it.

For now, I will smile over the memories made over drinks last night, and at the bridal shower last week, and soon to be made at future wine tastings, sporting events, etc. I am happy to be part of this team, and lucky to have found some life-long friends during my first year in the working world.

Re: Annual Review

2010-05-17T19:57:00.002-04:00

Wanted to give an update on how my year-end review went.

All in all, a good but brief conversation with my supervisor. She told me how impressed she was with me, and what an amazing year she felt I had there. As far as things to work on, points of contention, or major agenda items, here are the highlights:

1) Q: Assistant Director Promotion Timeline?
A: Check back in a year.

I discussed my feelings about moving from an entry-level position within our office to an Assistant Director role. I expressed how I felt the work I was doing currently was at the Assistant Director level -- planning programs, supervising others, and facilitating office initiatives, in addition to just counseling -- and how I was worried about getting stuck doing all the work with no upward movement or formal recognition. I also didn't want to have to apply for a totally different role in the office just to move up, and thus give up my current target populations I've been working hard to create relationships and make strides with. She agreed with me on the last part and understood the former. Basically the answer to my "when/can this promotion happen?" question was that "in a year, when we're sitting at your review, we should have begun the process of working to make the promotion official." This promising statement was followed by "and if we can't promote you for some reason, I wouldn't blame you for looking to move on somewhere else." Apparently it boils down to a budget issue. To promote me, they can't just start calling me Assistant Director. They have to change my title within HR, which requires a pay grade shift, and thus, a raise (woo!). Though I said I didn't care about the money part right now, it appears I wouldn't have a choice -- need one boost to get the other. So, if in a year from now money is available to shift my pay grade up a level, they will do it. If not...well we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Just an interesting, honest conversation. My coworker was still upset that I can't be promoted sooner or more definitively, but for now I'm satisfied that at least it's on the table and I know my immediate boss is rooting for me to move up.

2) Q: Biggest Weakness?
A: Your youth.

I am the youngest person working in my office besides the work study students. This has put me at a disadvantage in the eyes of my supervisors from the day I met them. Old enough to be my parents, they have sited my youth as something to be worried about, and a weakness to keep in mind. I, of course, take offense to this, because I see so many strengths that come with being closer in age to my students -- I understand their perspective, lifestyle, priorities, and general mindset better than more seasoned professionals. My youth breeds creativity, ambition, enthusiasm, and a desire to please. I don't settle or say we should do something just because we've always been doing it. Youth is not such a bad thing! Let alone that it's something I can't change. I can act as maturely and be as big a contributor as I can...but for some reason the fact that I am less than a handful of years older than the students we serve still gives my bosses reason for pause. Obviously this has also impacted the answer to Question #1, considering I first applied for 2 different Assistant Director roles and was told flat out "you are perfect for this position, but we need someone with at least 2 years of experience." Awesome. It's not you, it's me. Classic. I told my supervisor a few days later, after "processing," as I was told to do, that this whole "youth as weakness" thing really got on my nerves and I didn't think it was fair. My boss said she saw where I was coming from, and would make a more conscious effort not to view this as a weakness in general, and instead to judge me for my actions and contributions as I grew within my role.

3. Q: Where to grow from here?
A: Writing & Presenting on a national level.

It was hard not to blurt out that "Hey! I actually write a weekly blog for a national Student Affairs website!" But as we know, if my bosses knew I was the author of this blog, they might not be the biggest fan of all my honest opinions and observations. SO, my next goals, according to my boss, should be to write articles for national journals and websites, as well as present at a national conference. I'm open to both of these, though I would like to be asked to do the first one, and I'd have to pick a reasonable location for the second one. Either would be exciting, but I think I am most comfortable waiting for the right opportunities to come along, even if that means just waiting to SEE them and then pursue them zealously.

So I'd say those were some of the major moments and points to the evaluation. I am looking forward to getting on board with much of the feedback my boss gave, as well as continuing to prove myself as I work towards the next professional step within my office. Hopefully a year from now, I will be able to submit my name as part of a professional article or presentation, with the title "Assistant Director" attached to my name. And if I can do that, it will be because I worked hard to prove my worth and show just how much this young professional can accomplish.

Full circle

2010-05-09T20:39:00.004-04:00

Just a quick post tonight. I got a thank you email from the woman who's resume I was assigned to critique through volunteering for my ACPA commission. She thanked me for taking the time to make edits and offer suggestions. I smiled, of course, because I was in her exact place a year ago.

Last spring, I got an email from a career development professional with ACPA offering resume critiques from other members. As someone in career counseling, we both a) think our resumes are better than everyone elses, and b) would be the last to think our resumes needed looking at by someone else. So, speeding towards graduation without a job offer, I was the perfect candidate for their generous offer. I sent out my resume, curious to see what a fresh pair of eyes would see.

I got an email back a few days later from a wonderful woman working at a university up north. She gave me some encouragement and praise, along with the suggestion to add in more numbers/quantities, as well as to not always assume my reader will know what the programs I mention are all about, just from my catchy name for each of them. We exchanged a few more emails back and forth, and it came out that she had worked remotely with one of my soon-to-be coworkers, and said she'd be happy to put in a good word for me. Even as a stranger, she gave me the great gifts of time, kindness, humility, and confidence that would help me get through the difficult job search process.

When I got an email from ACPA asking for volunteers in our commission to critique graduate student resumes, I was probably the first one to reply with "sign me up!" It was the least I could do to pay it forward. I hope the student I gave my input to will do the same next year when she is, with any luck, gainfully employed in Student Affairs.

:)

Annual Review

2010-05-02T13:10:00.005-04:00

Regardless of when you started working here, every Student Affairs person at my institution has their "annual review" due in May.

Mine is coming up this week. No doubt a post will follow, hopefully with mostly good news and encouragement. My supervisor said there "won't be any surprises," but I mean come on, this year has been FULL of surprises. A year ago from this coming weekend was my graduation day. I didn't have a job, but was still holding out for my "Number One," whom I'd been pursuing for over a year and applied to officially 4 months prior to sitting in my cap and gown. Between May and June, I had 2 surprise on-site interviews at other places, one of which resulted in a job offer I would later turn down for my "Number One."

June was The Month of My Interview with "Number One." This was it, either I was going to finally get the job or I would have to scrape myself up off the floor and find it in me to pursue other opportunities with the same amount of dedication. Luckily, June was ALSO The Month of Getting the Job with Number One!! Hoorah! It was exhilarating and crazy and surreal. As the blogger for our 2010 Student Affairs Job Search page experienced, I also said yes right on the phone when the offer came through. No negotiating like I teach my students to do, just a hearty YES as I tried to hold back squeals of joy. July was The Month of Starting My Fist Job in Student Affairs, followed by The Month of Serving Students as a Full-Time Professional, The Month of Spending Too Much Money on Lunches and Coffees Out with New Colleagues on Campus, The Month of Having a Major Office Responsibility Thrust Upon Me Sooner Than Planned, The Month of The Cross-Campus Office Move, The Month of My Wedding (yep! interesting timing!), The Month of Catching Up and Starting New Projects, The Month of Selecting New Student Leaders, and finally The Month of Bringing It All to a Close.

Bam. It's May. My student leaders had their banquet this past week and will now be focusing on finals and getting ready for summer. My seniors are graduating. I'm even accepting some of them as Facebook friends now, ha. My other students are heading off to summers filled with internships, part-time work, summer classes, etc. My office is breathing a sigh of relief, only just before we start sprinting into a summer full of planning. But I am truly energized to finally be in a job where I can take a summer to look back on the year and plan to make the coming year better. I've never gotten to do that before, because this was always the time where I moved on to the next thing too. It's kind of refreshing, once I finally got over the aforementioned One Year Itch.

So how would I describe my first [academic] year on the job? Full of learning -- both about myself, my coworkers, my students, the institution I work for, my significant other, and generally the world around me. Sprinkled with disappointment, as anything in life will no doubt be -- on different occasions with my coworkers, my students, my institution, myself. Heavier with late-night work commitments than I expected. But also more rewarding for the hard work I put in, which was noticed by my supervisors and appreciated by my students. At our student leader banquet, I had team members fighting over seats at my table, and I overheard them say "Oh yeah, she's definitely the best advisor." I blushed. It's a very middle-school thing to be so happy about, but as one who cares deeply about others, it's nice to know they feel tied to me too. It's those little things that keep your spirits high when you are low on sleep, pay, formal recognition, or all of the above.

This year has been challenging, as I anticipated it would be, but also showed me how much I am capable of and reiterated the strengths I bring to a team. I am organized, diligent, prompt, thoughtful, and social, all of which helped me prove my worth in our large office and fill voids in our group. I am not yet who I want to be professionally or personally, but I am getting there. Having room to grow is critical, and perfection is suffocating, which I must not forget. I will make it my goal moving forward to bring creativity and new vision to my projects and initiatives in the office, even or especially when that means letting others' ideas shine, or fail, after being given a fair shot of their own. Trusting others, pushing my own limits, following my instincts, sticking up for myself whether in group settings or with one difficult person, saying no when it's necessary and yes when I don't want to but know it's for the best. And continuing to add to this list of ways to improve and goals to strive for. May I never feel "finished" in this field, but always give 100% of what I feel I can offer. It's kind of like what I tell my students as they head into exams -- you approach each set of end-of-year tests wondering how you will possibly survive. And then somehow you do. And you will make it through again and again, believing in yourself while not banking on luck alone. 95% determination + 5% faith (in a higher power, good fortune, other people, and/or yourself). This is my equation for success during difficult professional trials.

To be continued after my formal review...

Glory Days & the Future

2010-04-21T20:54:00.004-04:00

Think about your undergraduate alma mater.

You probably picture some of your campus's major landmarks. Perhaps you think about classic athletic trials, triumphs, and rivalries. You probably remember late nights out with friends, or lazy afternoons in your dorm room or around your old apartment. You may envision great teachers and classes, or the best bars and local restaurants. You likely think about the organizations you were involved in and the ways you chose to spend your time out of the classroom. For those of us in Student Affairs, no doubt we recall whatever or whoever got us interested in wanting to work on a college campus full-time -- a particular counselor, being a Resident Advisor, taking an internship with Student Activities, your Academic Advisor, serving on student government, taking on leadership roles within Greek life....

Could you go back and be a professional in that place of so many memories?

I recently sent a job posting to a Student Affairs colleague who is looking for work. It was for a position at the school she went to for undergrad. Although it would require moving a few hours away to take the job, I figured she'd have a soft spot for her alma mater and at least consider it. Hopefully they'd have a soft spot for her too. But, to my surprise, she said "thanks but no thanks," and admitted that she feels that she could never take a job at her undergraduate institution -- it would spoil some of the sparkle and wistfulness that surrounded her time there. The magic would die a little.

Her point struck me. I have always said matter-of-factly that the only reason I would ever leave my current geographic location would be for a position at my alma mater. It has remained a distant dream of mine to return to that small college town and serve the students there -- to me, that would be coming full circle. After all, that was where my interest in and passion for Student Affairs flourished, where I found many mentors and got to dive head-first into different leadership roles and departments. Wouldn't it be wonderful to go back?

I gave the idea a critical second thought. I tried to see the office I would WANT to work for back at my undergraduate institution through the lense of my current office dynamics and work situation. I thought about the cliques and drama, and the divides between certain staffers. I thought about budget constraints and often unreasonable decrees from university higher-ups. I tried to think about who my direct supervisor would be, or how strange it might be to go out to office happy hours with the professionals who trained me and signed my internship papers back when I wasn't even old enough to drink. I wondered if anyone would be jealous of me, a young professional holding the same title as someone twice my age. This was an office where people lived out the rest of their careers; would I feel out of place or stagnated? I struggled to imagine what it would feel like to have these "what's next?" feelings while in what I had always considered my TRUE "ultimate job," and how I would possibly grapple with that. What if it was not as amazing as I remember it being? What if I wasn't automatically welcomed back? What if things were just different? The magic might die, the dream might be crushed. It was a weird realization, or visualization, I suppose.

So where does this leave me? Do I give up on my eventual hope to return to my alma mater as a full-time professional? Maybe not. It's still fun to have a goal, regardless of if I ever decide to make it reality. But it at least tempers my "on a pedestal" feelings about that old office. I will always see my alma mater in a rosy rearview mirror. But I can at least understand that no office is perfect, no job is perfect, and no institution is perfect. What we do while we are there, how we make meaning and improve the lives of the students who pass through our doors...that's what keeps the magic alive.

The Long Goodbye

2010-04-15T19:21:00.003-04:00

No, not goodbye to my job. Goodbye to my students for the summer.

Tonight we had the last of my student leadership group meetings. And boy. Those kids were zonked. Not only did about a quarter of the group actually show up, but the ones that were there were barely keeping their heads up and focusing on the tasks at hand. As a staff member, there is no summer vacation for us. June is just as busy as January, but in a different way (meetings & planning vs. programs & student appointments). So while the group's advisors were ready for a productive meeting, it was clear this wasn't going to go as planned.

Though Senioritis is reserved by nature for graduating students, it seems like allergies, exams, the internship search, and other woes are wearing on students of every grade level around this time. Apparently April = month of "yeah right" or "I won't be able to make it." This is a good lesson for my colleagues and I, to shift our energies and foci (yes foci) in April from business as usual to either big-bang programs or one-on-one chats. I held a large-scale program earlier this week that still drew a crowd, but I can barely get my student leaders to reply to emails about our end-of-year celebration. They're just pooped.

This experience helps me think a bit different towards the fall. Now that I won't be adjusting anymore, I feel like I can hit the ground running come August, capitalizing on the novelty of the year and the energy of our group's new members. If I can just get us through training, I can regroup in time for an awesome fall retreat to get us back on track. Yes, August - November, and January - March...that's where we'll focus our attention next year.

For now, I'll enjoy the spring weather, the in-depth conversations I'm having with my counseling appointments, the happy thank you emails I get when a student secures an opportunity (finally!), and of course the slow dance towards May for my student leaders. Hopefully they will spend the summer resting, because they're in for a fast-paced sophomore season with me.

The unexpected

2010-04-04T18:53:00.006-04:00

It's always a wonder when you assume the worst and somehow end up being pleasantly proved wrong.

Though my institution isn't religiously-affiliated and students don't have Easter holiday or the days around it off, it was common knowledge that much of our campus would be vacated on Friday. Perhaps due to the holiday, and perhaps due to the gorgeous weather, I wasn't expecting anyone at my weekly drop-in hours this past week. I hunkered down in my chair on Friday afternoon, loaded up my laptop, and prepared for a few hours of quiet work. Lo and behold, students flooded in. I ended up having the most students show up of the 3 or 4 weeks I've been offering my services. They were motivated, had good questions, and were very willing to continue following up with me in the hopes of improving. It was surprising in a good way, and even though I was exhausted and couldn't even help all the students who stopped by before my 2 hour window was up and my ride back to the other side of campus arrived, I was elated with the turnout.

There have been a handful of these wonderful moments since I started my job. I've mentioned some on this blog. I've even started, at the suggestion of one of my coworkers, to keep at "Thanks/Kudos" file in my email sorting system, so that when I'm having a bad day I can quickly look back over all the messages I've received from grateful students and colleagues and smile, knowing that what I do makes a difference. Even with the warm, fuzzy field I'm in, it can be hard not to let day-to-day difficulties with coworkers, or not clicking with a student during a counseling session, or multiple endless and seemingly pointless meetings make you feel drained. So it's these "ahh yes, this is why I'm doing this" moments that keep us going.

I was invited to appear on a local television program recently to talk about job searching tips for a population I don't usually work with -- grown adults well out of college. Before the session started taping, I was nervous. I'd rehearsed what I wanted to say and felt my hair was looking particularly good that morning...but did I really even know what the heck to say to this audience? Was it anything they hadn't heard before? Waiting to get the microphones cued up, my host/anchor turned to me and said how much she really liked one of the tips I gave, saying she had never heard it before. Her husband was currently out of work and seeking employment, and she was upset that the only concrete help he seemed to come across were companies who offered to improve his resume in exchange for hundreds of dollars. It made me mad that so many people are capitalizing on the poor economy and taking advantage of people -- charging them outrageous amounts for services they can likely get for free by reaching out to their alma mater, asking a friend or colleague for assistance, or attending community events. At the end of the session, I gave her my card and said I would be happy to help her husband -- free of charge -- with his resume. She thanked me, and I soon headed back to work. I'm not sure if she or her husband will ever contact me, or if what I said on camera will change the approaches (or, dare I even think, lives) of any viewers, but I was proud and pleased to be offering a different perspective, and using my skills and training for the good of those around me.

My grandmother later asked me if I was paid to be on this TV show. I told her no and asked if it mattered. She said "no, of course not," but that she liked the fact that my name would at least be tied to it. This has always been something she's wanted for her children and grandchildren -- for us to get proper credit for the hard work we do. For us to become famous, even, for our gifts, be they writing, designing, public speaking, etc. While I love rewards, praise, and gratitude just as much as the next person, it has really never been about that for me. I am thrilled to hear from any of my students about their job search success and their general happiness, but I never expect that they will think to share it with me when it comes. I am just one person who has helped them along the way, just as many of my Student Affairs colleagues have been there for them, regardless of if they acknowledged it at the time or remember it thereafter.

In this field, we don't work 9-5. We know that we will take our work home with us, whether literally on our computers or mentally, playing out scenarios and keeping an eye out for opportunities that could benefit our students. We care. Sometimes too much. We give and give until we are sucked dry. And don't get me wrong, we do complain, especially to each other, but we do it with a sigh and a smile and an "oh well, that's just how it goes." When asked how we are doing, we say "hanging in there," and we do hang in there just fine...with the help of a few happy hours, office celebrations, "sick days," graduation ceremonies, and heartfelt thank you's from the students we want so much to see fly on their own wings.

There is little one can truly anticipate in daily life as a Student Affairs professional, but that's probably what makes our work challenging and fun, and every once in a while, just a little bit amazing.

Our other passions

2010-03-27T10:24:00.003-04:00

I know a woman who works 9-5 as an engineer and operates her own wine shop on the side.

When she told me her story, she said she had started out as an engineer, then quit her job to get her wine shop started, only to realize that she needed the income of her former position to get by personally and keep the wine shop alive. She now does both, though hopes to one day return to a professional life that only includes wine.

Student affairs isn't a field one goes into for the money -- we say this a lot. However, while it may be a life-long home for some, others see it as a reasonable stepping stone to other lines of work. When I was in graduate school, many of my classmates were weighing how long they would want to actually stay in Higher Education, even though they had just paid all this money to get the degree in our field. In a tough job market, plenty of us applied to positions outside the field, due to necessity more than anything else. But some TOOK those jobs out of Student Affairs, and I wonder if they will ever return. As much as one might like working with college students, is there another passion or paycheck that might sweep them away for good? Or will they miss it after a while, the way that so many do BEFORE deciding to return to grad school, and realize that it is what they want to do after all?

At my institution, I've seen more than a handful of people leave in the past 9 months. Not because they were unhappy, per say, but because a different opportunity presented itself and they decided it was better suited for them at this point. Some people move away for spouses' career changes, some because they get a higher-ranking role, some because they can finally return for an advanced degree and enter another field, and some because they just want to do something different. I have a good friend and colleague that would like more than anything to open his own bakery and have that be his full-time job. Will he be able to do this at some point? I hope so. Will he have to work at the bakery + keep a job in Student Affairs or another field? Probably. I know when I come home from work there's not much I'd rather do than put on a hooded sweatshirt and some pajamas and melt away the day on the couch. But for others, the end of the day might signal time to dedicate to their true passion, be it teaching others about wine, baking cakes, or keeping up a website focused on their favorite hobby.

There's not much I can think of wanting to do professionally that would replace the love I have for my work now, and the pride and happiness I feel after truly helping a student. Wedding planning is something that has floated around in my mind, but I enjoy the prep and planning much more than the pressure of giving someone a single, perfect day. Becoming a stay-at-home mom might one day take priority, just as my own mother did for me, but as someone who feeds off the energy of others, can children offer enough of that to keep me feeling busy and happy all day, everyday? Or will I look for other ways to get or stay involved in the working world? I don't have many hobbies outside of work, beyond watching television, going on Facebook, emailing people, and trying new restaurants. And I don't think anyone's about to pay me for any of those things. Besides, unless I have people to communicate with as part of any of these options, they won't be fulfilling for 8 hours a day. No, for me, being a Student Affairs professional is what I have wanted to be for many years and the only thing I can see wanting to be in the future. I may envision different institutions and offices in which I can thrive, but as long as college students are involved, I think I'll stay put...

...though if someone offered to finance and run a wine shop, put MY name on it, and say I could be the public face of the store, enjoying free wine and sharing it with others whenever I wanted...I can't say I would say "no thanks." Maybe one day :)

The One-Year Itch?

2010-03-14T15:32:00.006-04:00

Have you felt it?

After back-to-back years of undergraduate internships, graduate assistantships, and other short-term opportunities, I've found it difficult to totally grasp the fact that my first full-time job in Student Affairs doesn't have a contracted end-date. There is no end-of-term paper or passing credit to be awarded. There is no scheduled last date with accompanying good-bye celebration. My coworkers and supervisors like me, and I like them back, and we make plans as if my stay will be indefinite. So why is it so hard to believe I shouldn't be looking for the next best thing?

My job search and interview process last year were emotionally draining in many ways, but also somewhat exhilarating. New opportunities, new chances to be chosen, and the thrill of maybe, just maybe, being given a job offer. I remember getting my first interview offer last February. It was from a school on the west coast that I had simply tossed my resume and application into the hat for, curious to see if I'd get a bite. Well, they bit, including offering to fly me out to their campus for a first-round interview. I was flattered and excited that THEY wanted ME, especially after months of hearing over and over again how rough the job market was going to be. I remember the conversation later that evening with my significant other who was traveling at the time. "If you got this job out there, would we really move there? Would you really take it? Even if it was the perfect fit, would it be worth us leaving our family and friends behind?" In the end, I had to say that no, it wasn't. If I had gone out there to interview, it would have been for selfish reasons -- wanting to wow them and get a real live job offer, forsaking the fact that I knew I would break their hearts in the end. I contacted the recruiter who had both emailed and called me about the interview and politely declined the trip. She thanked me for being honest and for being kind enough to save their resources in a tough economy. I knew my decision was the right one at the time, even if I had subsequent moments of remorse as April and May rolled on without another job offer in hand. Things would ultimately work out and I would get my DREAM job in the geographic area I wanted to stay in. But I can't say the desire to BE desired by other institutions, even if I don't want to leave my current one, doesn't still creep in every once in a while.

I find myself looking at job postings in my functional area around the country, curious about what qualifications they would look for in an Assistant Director, or even Director, at other schools. Would I be someone worth considering? Would they get excited by what's on my resume? Would they fight for me to join them? Would my current institution fight for me to stay??? Then, of course, I chide myself for even considering a change, because I know how good I have it now. It's almost like that middle ground between when you first start dating someone and when you decide to get really serious...feeling like this might be your forever partner. The love you have for that person could be incredibly strong, but no doubt the devil on one's shoulder may ask "So, is this it? Are they the one? Are you ready to commit for life?" Though I can't say if I'll be a "lifer" at my current institution, I know there's no good reason to leave. I've been there less than 9 months and my responsibilities are increasing steadily. I may not have a fancy title anytime soon, but I have work I can be proud of and people to support me.

Truly, I think part of my worry is that eventually my sparkle will wear off in this office...that someone newer and shiner will come around and I won't be the star anymore. Classic oldest child syndrome. But I have to fight it. I have to want quality coworkers to come into the fold just as much as my supervisors do, if nothing else, because I know they will push me to work harder to get noticed. I need to constantly be thinking of ways to improve myself and the work I put forth. I need to just focus on being happy where I am and not stress out just because I'm used to a yearly rotation of interviews, acceptances, and hearty welcomes and high expectations. I will rejoice in opportunities to show my stuff in new forums, whether that's a professional organization or a new office initiative. I will not settle for the way things are, and will continue to mold my circumstance to fit what is best and most exciting for me and those around me. I will be grateful and look forward to the next however many years I'm destined to be employed by this fantastic university.

I will put the lotion of humility, courage, and reality on the itch, and as any good mother would instruct me, resist the urge to scratch.

The First Year Experience

2010-03-06T20:55:00.005-05:00

Student Affairs outreach to first-year college students is tricky.

On one hand, you want students to have any resources they might need as early as possible...so that they don't waste time or miss out. On the other, sometimes kids just need to be kids, and freshmen might benefit from simply being left to their own devices, mistakes, and youth that first year of college. As someone who has just been given the oversight of all first-year programming in my office, I've found this challenge to be a pull of opposites. How do you teach someone to fish when they don't want to eat the fish you put in front of them, or even know what a fish is? Is it important to push certain experiences and pieces of knowledge in the first year of college, regardless of the fact that you might not even WANT the student to do something until a few more semesters down the road? Or are there ways to support students in other facets of their development, hoping that this will create a relationship, and later a need, that engages them with your office later on?

I have been working to enrich the experience of first year students in a couple of ways thus far:

The first is pairing up to boost the offerings of other 'more relevant' offices on campus -- Orientation/New Student Programs, International Affairs, and Residence Life, to name a few. I have joined committees, volunteered to put on workshops, and contributed marketing efforts to these groups, with the goal of establishing myself as a friendly face, ready to help and/or refer first-years when they decide they need advising from someone in my office, and making connections with departments that can later support OUR outreach and programming, too.

The second is to be where the first-years are. I have started offering drop-in hours in their dining halls, putting on workshops on the side of campus they live on, and posting program announcements on their Facebook group page. These items have been my effort to say "hey, I'm willing to come to your side of the world and be there if you need me." So far, there's been great response. I've seen almost 15 students over 4 hours of drop-ins, had many more registrants for our workshop series than expected, and am starting to get more and more recognition and requests from first-year students on campus, which has been fun.

Lastly, I'm thinking ahead at ways we can get first-year students involved with our office. I focused a great deal of my recruitment efforts for our student leadership group on first-year students, with the hopes that they'd see it as an investment for their next 3 years at school. I have worked to get students signed up for listervs run through our office, so that they will stay informed of opportunities and events we promote for years to come. I encourage them to attend career fairs and networking events, even just to observe, so that they can become more confident heading into them as candidates down the road. If we can develop a friendship and trusting relationship NOW, I believe we can create clients for 4 years, and cheerleaders for life.

If I were to give first-year students career-related advice, knowing that they would take it, I would tell them to focus on keeping their grades up, connecting with faculty and staff members who can later recommend them for opportunities, find one or two things to get involved in on campus that you feel you can become a passionate leader in and advocate for, and start conducting informational interviews and shadowing experiences -- asking questions of and observing people who are out in the real world before deciding what your professional goals are. I think that freshmen need to make time for friendships, sleep, academics growth, and fun. They need to practice smart decisions, building lasting relationships, and prioritizing their commitments effectively. Internships, resumes, and applications are important...but there is a time and a place for them in college life, signaled by a healthy level of curiosity, clarity, and confidence. Whether that means these things happen in the first-year or closer to graduation, as long as a student is being true to who they are, open to the possibilities, and wise about what they are learning along the way...they will be making the most of their university experience.

My first Donald Trump moment

2010-02-21T19:36:00.002-05:00

"You're Fired."

No, not me. This coming week, I will be sitting on the OTHER side of the boardroom table, "letting go" my first student. I am the advisor for a student leadership group. They don't get PAID, but they are certainly considered part of our support staff. We have just under 30 students in the organization, with around 10 under my personal jurisdiction. I care about them all very much and consider myself to be a softie, but if someone is consistently showing that they couldn't care less about the job they've signed up for, and isn't communicating with me as to why, we have a problem. I can't have students putting our leadership group on their resumes and speaking to it as an honor and active part of their campus involvement if they continuously drop the ball and aren't accountable. I have some students who volunteer to help with every project and put in way more than the required hours, and then I have some who use our resources as needed but don't show up for meetings or required office hours and continue to disappoint. I am the type of person who emails back quickly, does tasks efficiently, and hates to let anyone down. When someone can't at least show me the respect to feel BADLY when they let me down...that just pisses me off.

This particular student has been hit-or-miss all year, but began missing out on meetings with no word as the fall semester wound down. She and I had a long phone conversation over winter break to discuss her level of commitment and I asked her point blank if she wanted to step down or continue on with the program. She said she wanted to say, but since spring semester began, she has not been to any of our three group meetings and has missed her office hours twice. The last straw was this past week when I saw her in the office doing her own business, and then she no-showed on the one-on-one meeting she had scheduled for us to conduct her mid-year review. Even though I emailed her a few days prior to remind her of the meeting, still...nothing. I couldn't hide my anger and dismay from my coworker who laughed, as I am usually very sweet and nonchalant about things. No, I knew this was the end for this student...now I just need to figure out how to deliver the bad (?) news.

To email or call? On one hand, if I email this student to inform them of my request for them to step down from the group, I can attach our email trail, detailing her past disappointments and the note where she scheduled our meeting that she later missed. Then again, it feels a bit cold to do so, and she could very well "never get the email" (literally or per her side of the story). If I call, she will be both caught off-guard, as well as likely feel the need to explain herself and be polite, which will not change my mind and might just be even more awkward. Professional vs. to-the-point...personal vs. easier...hard to say. Thoughts from my readers? I will reach out to my supervisor (who also knows this student well) for guidance, but ultimately the decision will be mine. Tough, tough.

This will be a bummer, no two ways about it. But at least I feel justified and have no doubt that this is the right decision for me, my team, and maybe even this student. Sometimes being committed to something you are too lazy or embarrassed to back away from can be exhausting in itself. This student needs to be true to whatever activities they ARE prioritizing and learn the life lessons that come from being fired and knowing you let others down. Regardless of how difficult it will be to make that call or email happen, I'd much rather be holding the hatchet than being the one on the chopping block.

Climate Changes

2010-02-11T21:21:00.004-05:00

Not always about the weather.

I was recently listening to a radio segment where fans of opposing college teams were smack talking back and forth in preparation for a big basketball game. One of the fans made the statement that "the most difficult part of being a _(other team)_ fan is having to tell your parents that you're gay." I was SHOCKED that this person not only likely got this line by hearing it from someone else, and felt this way, but that they would have the audacity to say it out loud on the radio for thousands of people to hear. It got me thinking about what we refer to as "campus climate" -- how open and welcoming a college campus is to diversity, particularly in regards to sexual orientation.

I have attended and/or worked at many different types of colleges -- big, small, liberal arts, research, etc. I was surprised to learn that the small women's college I spent a year working for didn't have any formal support systems for gay/lesbian women. I had moments of outright anger and frustration watching students, parents, and alumni fight against creating an LGBT Center on another, larger campus. At my undergraduate institution (a public, land-grant college), I honestly don't remember any incidents of particular hostility OR support for our LGBTQ population...though I probably would have been more aware were I part of this community myself. I can definitely say that the institution I currently work for has the "warmest" climate for students that are part of the LGBT community.

As a student affairs professional, I am proud to work in a field that is known for being supportive and inclusive in regards to sexual orientation. It's hard for me to imagine ever operating in an environment where people would openly spout hate, let alone in correlation with their college/sports affiliations. Even though we've lived more than 10 years in the 21st century, there are still many close-minded people out there who use "gay" as an insult. I hope that by the time MY children attend college, this is no longer something people think of as a negative way to describe anyone or anything. It seems silly to have to wish for that, but until every college campus has a warmer climate, we will still have to brush off the chill of ignorant people. For now, I will rejoice in the fact that the fan of MY school of choice in the argument never stooped to the level of her bigoted foe. Go Team!!

((For more information on Campus Climate visit http://www.campusclimateindex.org/))

When the cat's away

2010-02-01T19:08:00.004-05:00

...yes you guessed it, the mice will play.

I returned last Wednesday from two weeks away from the office. As the type of person who prides myself on leaving overly detailed instructions, to-do lists, and other such means for people to get things done in their absence, I was oddly shocked at the things that had gone wrong while I was gone. My student leaders hadn't been completing their weekly volunteer hours, staff members had been arguing for petty reasons, and my colleagues who promised to do marketing for one of my initiatives simply never got around to it.

Per my previous post, you've learned it's difficult for me to trust others with work that is meaningful to me. But I had to leave, and things needed doing, so I trusted. Apparently this wasn't the best decision. I know it wasn't the instructions themselves, or anyone's intentional disrespect towards me. I think a combination of factors led to this month's mishaps:

1. Children always take one parent more seriously. In the household that is my group of student leaders, I lead most of the meetings, send out most of the emails, and generally garner the greatest amount of respect. Though one of the students is "President" of the group, she has leaned more towards the role of administrative support and worker bee than wanting to be the main voice. So when I left her in charge during my absence, I suppose it shouldn't be such a huge surprise that the students didn't rise to the challenge. As smart as my students are, they are busy and tend to think that their own schedules are the most important and stressful of anyone around them. After a disappointingly-attended first meeting of the semester and a number of students missing their volunteer hours, the group's president sent out a stern email restating her expectations. Things have gotten much better since I got back, and I hope that change is at least in some part due to her words.

2. People don't handle change well. Even as a strong Obama supporter, I'll admit I can sometimes be unnerved by change myself at first. Our office recently changed locations and responsibilities and schedules were incredibly fluid in the first few weeks. Instead of taking it in stride, being flexible, or negotiating different strategies, some of our staff members decided to get crabby. My attitude is to pitch in wherever I'm needed -- not everyone's style. Growing pains, adjustment issues, fatigue...all of these likely contributed. Now that I'm back, I'm trying to smile, pitch in, and just go with the flow. With any luck my coworkers will soon retract their claws and get back in each other's good graces.

3. It's not fair to rely on one person to do everyone's bidding. Even if they enjoy and are trained in said bidding. We have one person who is in charge of marketing for our office. When I first started at my job, I had to adjust to giving this coworker my marketing tasks and letting them take over. Over the past few months, I have been able to balance asking for their help with showing appropriate gratitude, offering friendly reminders, and helping however I can. But one person can only do so much, especially without those friendly reminders. In the future, it would probably have been wise to set earlier deadlines for the marketing initiatives, and then note to myself that if they didn't get done in my absence, my second timeline would come into play. That way, if things DID get done earlier, it would simply be a pleasant surprise, not an expectation.

After a day or two of putting out fires, I'd say things are generally back on track in regards to my own initiatives, and I think office morale will continue to rise with time. But I've learned that you can't expect perfection, no matter how detailed your directions are. You can only get so upset when things aren't done in your absence, considering that you got to be away on vacation for 2 weeks -- that's a personal choice that comes with risks. And seeing the way those you lead act in your absence offers a good chance to reevaluate your effectiveness as a leader. I want to be the type of supervisor that "teaches others to fish," so to speak. Right now, as much as my students may look to me for guidance and show me respect, I need them to not be so dependent on my reminders or instructions.

As nice as it was to be away for a while, I'll admit it's nice to get back to normal, too.

Changes in Professional Identity

2010-01-08T15:19:00.003-05:00

I'm getting married this month.

It's a wonderful life event and I'm glad it's finally here, but getting married definitely presents its own unique set of workplace challenges. How do I take off so many days when I've only been working there less than 6 months? How do I make sure that the work that needs getting done in my absence gets done by someone else (see earlier post on difficulty trusting others)? How do I get over my guilt regarding leaving my student advisees hanging for over 2 weeks to tackle their own issues or see someone else? What if they like one of my colleagues better than me upon meeting with them instead? How do I concentrate on work when my mother is emailing me all day about everything from flowers to favors? How do I keep myself from getting sick from all the stress? Oh wait, didn't figure that one out soon enough - bad times. How do I change all my tax forms and HR mumbo-jumbo in such a way that I won't want to pull my hair out and/or I won't be considered a fraud by the government at some point in the future?

All of these questions dance in my mind. But perhaps one of the most pressing is that of professional identity. I have decided to take my partner's last name, and wrestled for a while about what losing my own last name might mean for my recognizability in the field. Sure, I'm a pretty young new professional, but technically I've been "out there" in Student Affairs for upwards of five years. And sure, my last name was never easy to pronounce...but I got so used to signing things with my first and last initial. And now those will change. The other day our HR rep sent out some new business card proofs, of which I told her to just go ahead and order mine with my new last name. My boss came to me frantic, thinking we had messed up my cards, but was even sadder to hear me say that "oh no, that's just my new last name." "I'll miss your old last name!" she winced. Though I said quickly "I won't; my new one is so much easier to pronounce!" I did have a moment of second-guessing completely abandoning my surname. Then again, I thought of my colleagues who had decided to make their maiden names their 2nd middle names (4 names in all), or change officially to having hyphenated or un-hyphenated double last names. They complain about the inconveniences of that strategy as well. No, I'm firm on my decision...but I hope I can put as much reason for positive association with my NEW name as my old one. I hope that years from now the accolades associated with my new professional self are numerous, and include things like "Director of..." and "President of..." and "Winner of..." I hope that my current name can be "The Name I Grew As" and my soon-to-be name can be "The Name I Became Famous With."

So, soon I will go through the process of standing in line at the Social Security Office, the DMV, the bank, my institution's HR office, and other notoriously slow and painful places. I will have to practice signing my name a new way, and get a new email alias, and change my Facebook and LinkedIn pages, and likely correct students, coworkers, friends, and all sorts of other people for many years to come. Hey, I'm guilty of calling married friends my their maiden names all the time. But soon it will stick. And my actions will speak for who I am, what I care about, and what I will be known for in the Student Affairs world and beyond. Time to get started on building the personal brand of The New Me.

***This post will be my last for a few weeks, due to wedding and honeymoon travel. I will post again by the end of January/first week of February. Hang in there and thank you for your continued support!***

My Resolutions

2010-01-01T09:35:00.003-05:00

Figured this post was all too appropriate.

What are some of my New Years Resolutions as a Student Affairs professional in 2010? Hmm....let's see....

1. I will start taking 2 short walks during my work day, instead of one or none. I've been proud of my efforts thus far to incorporate a little stretching, socializing, and exercise into the day, per one of our HR fitness challenges. I'd like to actually meet their suggestion of walking twice a day now. I have a work buddy who is committed to this with me, so January 4th -- it's on!

2. I will work to incorporate students and colleagues more into my program planning. It's easy for me to get wrapped up in project planning, and it's hard for me to trust others to get things done in a timely fashion. These two facts add up to me doing most of the work on any given initiative. I think it'll be best for the relationships I'm developing, as well as my sanity in the long-term to start letting people in, letting people help, and sharing the load. Whether it means delegating, asking for a little help, or just CC'ing someone on an email...I need to stop taking things on my shoulders alone.

3. I will pay more consistent attention to the networking resources and people who got me where I am. When I was in job search mode, I was on LinkedIn and Twitter all the time, as was always engaging in conversations with people in my network. Now that I'm employed, I've let many of these things slip from my mind, and I don't think that's such a great idea. As much time and effort as it takes, I will not forget the reasons why I was hired just because I signed the papers and don't feel as compelled to promote my brand.

4. I will meet and collaborate with a new Student Affairs colleague each month. To continue expanding my connections and seeking out ways to better serve my students, I need to make a good effort getting to know people, and letting them know me. As a (still) relatively new employee at my university, I shouldn't expect people to seek me out or find me interesting. I have to get out there and start the conversation!

Don't want to overload my promises to the point where I don't focus enough energy on each that I've set...so let's stop here. My resolutions have to do a lot with putting in effort when it comes to professional relationships, health/well-being, and my own idiosyncrasies. I would love for 2010 to be The Year of Feeling Freer Because I am More Connected. Now that networking isn't part of my job search, it can and should just be fun. Exercise, when short, simple, and with a friend...healthy and enjoyable. And letting things go a bit and learning to trust others...with any luck, this will bring me peace.

Happy 2010 Everyone! Make it a year you can be proud of :)

StudentAffairs.com

2009-12-24T15:59:00.005-05:00

No, not just the website this blog is affiliated with.

Our office was much too quiet this week. Much of our staff had decided to use vacation time. Students were spending time at home and/or didn't feel like driving to our new office, and instead called for phone appointments. I asked my boss nicely if I might be able to work from home the two days I'm scheduled to be "in" next week. She declined (boo), but this all definitely got me thinking how Student Affairs would or could work if snow days, or winter breaks, or any other physical barriers to us and students being on campus became the norm. Can Student Affairs thrive solely in the digital world?

My first thought is of a move to online counseling/advising. Being a member of the Millennial Generation myself, I learned early that it was easier to reveal your true feelings by typing them into a computer and clicking "send" than it was to speak them aloud. Though this used to apply to middle school crushes, I can definitely see how some students might feel more comfortable communicating via email or gChat instead of sitting right in front of us. Doesn't necessarily do wonders for the social skills, but can be more efficient/conducive to multitasking (if you consider those two things interchangeable, ha), and an easier way to share resources. Right now my office doesn't offer any sort of online chatting or advising via the web, beyond email conversations. But if we needed to start, I don't think students would complain.

So we've got advising down...what about programming? Well the planning aspects could definitely happen remotely. As long as one has a laptop and charger, as well as any notes, planning can actually be very productive when you aren't in the office. If we had to communicate with students or other staff, technologies such as the aforementioned chats or videoconferencing (other examples: Elluminate, Adobe Connect) could make things fairly simple. Then again, technological difficulties, either from the computer itself or from the person using it incorrectly, could make for a frustrating process. Presentations and workshops could be given online -- hoorah for the webinar, YouTube, and website links to PowerPoint slides -- but interactive activities would be lost. Group discussions could survive...maybe...I had a class in graduate school that was conducted via online classroom, and we used webcams, microphones, and online chat to communicate. It worked out well, except when someone didn't know how to use the tools. I can imagine, however, that many students would pull up a presentation online but not really get involved in the content. Facebook, homework, tv, friends...all of these could easily pull them away and they wouldn't be nearly as engaged.

Networking events. Hmm. Well there is definite ease with LinkedIn, Facebook, and other social websites. Some companies hold online career fairs. But I can't help but feel like something is lost without the face-to-face communication. Confidence and a certain amount of gusto are required to strut up to a professional and give them the reasons why they should spend time talking to you. Maturity and poise are developed through practicing one's handshake or choosing the correct outfit...but I can't say that things like the swine flu and the down economy haven't taken the charm out of these two experiences. How would a student project kindness? How would they laugh at an alumni's joke? EMOTICONS???!!! Ugh. Much more impersonal, and much more room for students to flub via spelling errors, use of slang, responding too quickly or too slowly, etc. I believe networking CAN happen online, but that it is not truly valuable unless eventually taken offline, whether via phone, in person, or at least via email (yes that's still online, but at least it can be a longer, more in-depth exchange than just clicking to accept someone's request). Just as with Facebook or MySpace, if you are just a name on someone's list but don't actually ever talk to or see them...can you actually consider them a FRIEND?

Obviously there are areas of Student Affairs that simply could not exist online. Namely, Residence Life, Greek Life, and Athletics to name a few. If students and professionals can't come together for supervision, leadership opportunities, camaraderie, or support...our roles become quite confusing, if not obsolete. As much as I can see the convenience of some aspects of going totally digital, I truly believe that it is the in-person interactions, both student-to-student and student-to-staff/faculty that make the best memories and an enriching college experience. Though it's nice to get a break away for a few days (or weeks, in the students' case), I know that we are all looking forward to getting back to campus all together and diving into the programs, conversations, and interactions that are sure to unfold.

Bring on 2010 :)

For the Rest of Us

2009-12-18T09:45:00.004-05:00

Winter holidays make for interesting traditions and conversations in Student Affairs.

Even as a profession that works to be super inclusive, it's hard to not get caught up in the Christmas spirit on college campuses. When students return from Thanksgiving, often they will find poinsettias and wreaths placed on tables and doors. Someone who celebrates any other holiday than Christmas might find they are given the gift of a final exam during their own day(s) of celebration, instead of equally respectful observance. Even at a non-religiously affiliated institution like my own, our university-wide holiday celebration included a concert in the chapel, filled with beautiful, yet clearly church-inspired music. When these major or minor snafus occur, I tend not to get too out of shape as a staff person, but I do always think about our students. How do they feel being one faith or another, or no faith at all, and being inundated with religious symbolism all month long? Maybe they chose to come to a particular university because it WASN'T religious...and yet they still have to play along as their peers rejoice for gift exchanges and santa-and-elf-themed mixers. While it may be hard to escape Christmas in most any retail location, I am a little frustrated that students can't seem to get away from it in their place of study.

Shouldn't there be some sort of Winter Holiday that encompassed things ALL students would want or need to get them in a truly festive and reflective mood? Elements could include:

*The gift of optional exams from professors...where students could take one if they needed to raise their grade, or just keep their current average if they had been happy with the compilation of their work all semester. A perfect compromise - and likely less grading for the professors!

*The gift of extra hugs...not that hugs aren't always available, but perhaps an official encouragement for friends to embrace one another to share in happiness, support those who are worried or tired, or just get a little physical comfort in a world where students rely on the internet to confirm relationships and receive confirmation of one's current emotional status.

*A day of expression...where students would have a time and place to dance, paint, write, play, sing, create...whatever helps them relax, shake off their troubles, and feel at peace. There could be music playing, spaces and materials to encourage artsy action, the ways and means to write letters, places to run, etc. Possibilities are endless, because each student would have a different way to express their true selves. So often they are struggling to fit into the mold of what is acceptable in their group of friends, their generation, their institution, their family...let's give them a chance to be whoever it is they would or could be if none of these influences limited or restricted them. If the world was their oyster...then what?

*The gift of being given full funding for the semester of their choice...finances plague all students, whether their parents are paying for their education, or they are fully supporting themselves. Money is always an issue, even if it is simply knowing that someone else has bargaining power over your educational choices. This gift would allow students to pick one semester where their institution would fully pay for their classes, books, room, and board for the semester of their choice -- no strings attached. Okay one string...they had to promise to make decisions that would increase their happiness, and refocus the energy that would have been spent worrying about money or obligation to their original benefactor towards the greater good. Pay it forward with kindness or time or whatever they saw fit.

*The gift of their favorite home-cooked meal...the composition of this meal will be different for each student depending on what they like and grew up with, but whatever it is, they could relish in the nutrition and comfort that they really can't get from campus food...let alone Easy Mac, Ramen Noodles, or PopTarts.

*The tradition of service...perhaps a particular day, or part of each day during the holiday, could be dedicated to helping those in need. Community service is one of those things that is critically important, and students seem to always be glad they did it, but making the time and figuring out the logistics of doing something meaningful is often what gets them stuck. There could be a number of choices for ways to give back to those less fortunate, from working with children or the elderly, to helping with food or clothes collection, to building homes or schools, to advocating on behalf of a specific group. There would be help with travel and funding and all of the things that would keep them from serving normally, and just go do good in the world. Not for the sake of their resume, but because it's a wonderful thing to do.

I could probably keep writing this list of things that would benefit all students and make for a spectacular winter celebration that is non-religious in nature...but you get the point. I think what students really need during the winter months is compassion, freedom to be themselves, comfort, friendship, opportunities to help others and realize their own fortune, and rejuvenation...not another cake or sweater or carol. On college campuses, inclusion should mean more than just having a bit of each common holiday tradition present; it should mean thinking of new and different ways to bring the JOY of this time of year to everyone, respecting the fact that what that means will likely be different for each person.

I hope that each of your Decembers involve sharing love with those you care about, being appreciated for who you are and what you do, an opportunity to express gratitude and give to those who need assistance, and a chance to recharge as we head into the new year!

Bossman Bing

2009-12-12T20:34:00.004-05:00

Sometimes a relationship shift is palpable.

I've only been working in my current office for 5 months, but already we've had one person leave, three people hired, about a dozen people interview, and one person move up within our ranks. It's been a bit of a whirlwind with all these changes, but I'd say the strangest development has been with the internal promotion.

This person was one of the most down-to earth and friendly when I started; we clicked right away. We would have lunch together, talk during the day, and were just generally on the same page. Since her promotion, she has moved from a peer of mine to a boss of mine, even though she doesn't directly supervise me. She's had a lot of work to do to get caught up to her new leadership role, and I'd certainly say that "chicken with it's head cut off" has come to mind for me few times in the past couple of weeks. Though this type of reaction make sense, I have been taken aback by the way our relationship has changed. She doesn't stop by to say hi anymore, or invite me to lunch. Sometimes she's probably just too busy, but other times I think perhaps she's leaped too far into the role of leader...and isn't sure how to be a friend. It reminds me of the Friends episode where Chandler is promoted within his office and gets upset when Phoebe, as his temporary secretary, tells him that his office mates don't think of him as a friend anymore. "You're Bossman Bing!" Chandler is horrified by this change at first, but eventually accepts that he can only try to be an effective manager, not awkwardly straddle the line between buddy and boss.

In Student Affairs, it seems this line is often fuzzy. We are colleagues, but there is also hierarchy. We like to socialize and have fun together, but also have crunch times and initiatives that require "getting down to business." It can be jarring to live in both scenarios, never being sure when your coworker or supervisor will put on their boss face. Recently, my immediate supervisor told me that while she loves going out with us and the idea of drinking wine with her colleagues...she knows that it's probably not appropriate. Even though we're all years past 21, apparently there's still a strange feeling of responsibility and separation that comes with being higher on the totem pole. I am a personal believer that we choose the way we relate to those around us -- there are no hard, fast rules. But not everyone feels that way.

I'm not sure if bringing up my frustration/sadness over my coworker's shift in behavior is worth doing. Best case: she acknowledges she's been acting weird and makes an effort to get things back to normal...though it will likely feel forced for a period of time. Worst case: she is unwilling to acknowledge the change; or gives a cold "things are different now" type of response. Don't know if I think either is a particularly great outcome. For now, I'll keep feeling things out, being friendly and inclusive to everyone in my office...and see who decides to throw kindness and inclusion back my way.

True Fan?

2009-12-02T19:50:00.003-05:00

So what if I don't know our team's record?

Today I was talking to a coworker who recently joined our staff. She commented on how she had plans to study up on our basketball team and other big sports news, as a precursor to conversations with alumni and potential campus partners. At once, I started doubting my own dedication to my institution, because I hadn't fallen into consistent watching of games or keeping tabs on new recruits, etc. I consider myself a basketball fan -- it's my favorite sport, if I had to choose -- but at a school where our basketball arena is like a house of worship, and all students are sworn to practice the same athletic faith...I guess I feel like a slacker.

As a staff member, how much of a FAN does one have to be of the college where they work? Do we have a responsibility to not only root for the home team, but spend time learning about our institution's athletics the way we study our Student Affairs Handbooks? I remember being asked in an interview at another school "If [my undergraduate institution] and [the college I was interviewing at] were playing each other, who would you cheer for?" I paused a moment to check the mood of the room and the looks of those around me. Was the answer to this question really vital to my success in this position? If I said no, would that hurt my chances of getting the job? I smiled and said "Though I would root for [their institution] on most occasions, I hope you can respect the fact that I would have to cheer for [my undergraduate institution] if they were to play each other." There was a bit of smack talk and laughter, but a general acceptance of my answer around the table. I didn't end up getting that job. Though I know this wasn't the reason (or I hope! Ha), it did surprise me that this was one of the questions that was asked, in a room where nobody worked for the athletics department.

Though this fact is often under scrutiny, loyalty to athletics are often king on college campuses. Rivalries run deep, and people get very touchy regarding the results of sporting events. If our school loses at basketball, it's on the students' minds and lips...it definitely sets them into a funk the next day. Should I feel the same way? Perhaps only against our main rival? What about only during March Madness? Isn't having to ask this question at all showing that I'm trying too hard? Does fandome have to come naturally...does it come with the territory of being accepted by both Admissions AND HR?

Tomorrow night, I'm attending my second sporting event to cheer on my school since starting work there. It will be my first basketball game. I'm not studying ahead, but I will wear my school's colors and get into the spirit. We'll see when I leave at the end of the evening if my mood is affected by the outcome of the game...and if I feel the urge to dive into being a more dedicated fan.

I'm curious to know how athletic loyalty and interest has played out for those of you who read this blog, either at your undergraduate or graduate institutions, or at your current place(s) of work. Do you consider yourself a true fan? When did the shift happen? Do you ever have to fake fandome around students or colleagues? I'd love to hear any and all experiences and thoughts. GO TEAM!

Black Friday Wishlist

2009-11-26T18:10:00.009-05:00

It would be easy to write a "What I'm Thankful For as a New Professional in Student Affairs post."

Too easy. So instead I decided to tackle another Thanksgiving tradition: Black Friday shopping. After finishing a dinner of leftovers, I can turn to my right and see a bunch of newspaper ads for the big day, or turn to my left and see various TV commercials prompting people not to miss out on all the great deals. It makes me wonder...if improvements and luxuries our daily life as a Student Affairs professionals were put on sale, what would I be willing to wake up at 5am to stand in line for? Here's my wishlist:

Permanent 4-day work weeks. Admit it, how much more refreshing is the Monday Morning Grind when you realize it's actually Tuesday and you've had an extra day to relax?

Annual salary increases. It's one of the few things I envy about those who work in corporate America. Though Student Affairs folks often joke together, "hey, we didn't get into this field for the money," it would be nice to know that each year we put our heart and souls into guaranteed a little raise. For now, we'll settle with relative job security.

Consistent student enthusiasm and attendance. With all the helpful and fun programs and services we offer to students, it would be great to know that we never had to market them again. Ahh, to always be in-demand.

Eliminating the need for "Development" in Student Affairs. The solicitation aspect of our field (raising and requesting funding for programs, services, operations) is something that makes me queasy, as necessary as it may be. If only the money would flow freely from alumni, employers, parents, and anonymous donors. Then we could truly make every great idea come to life and both hire and maintain all necessary staff members to function at peak form.

Naptime. This one doesn't really need explanation. But I can bet most any adult is nostalgic for this preschool pastime on a daily basis.

I'm noticing a trend in my wishlist -- abundant resources and energy. With each of these, we could live up to our greatest potential, and serve our students better. Though never short on passion, curiosity, or creativity, I would definitely sacrifice a Thanksgiving night's rest to provide those who dedicate their lives to our field with a bit more sleep and money year-round. In this economy and at this time of the year, we must work extra hard to make the most of what and who we have around us. Take the time to thank the people in your office that do little things to make your life easier. Meet students where they are -- both physically and mentally -- and put on programs that are impactful through their message or activity, but don't cost a thing. Take a short walk or two during your work day to recharge. Wear comfier shoes. Ask your supervisor for performance reviews each quarter so you can receive proper feedback and praise on a consistent basis. Read and reflect on things going on in our field, and in the world around us. And make an effort to smile more often, especially on Mondays. :) Happy Thanksgiving.

Feels like yesterday

2009-11-21T09:01:00.005-05:00

This week a senior was referred to me to talk about applying to Higher Ed/Student Affairs Master's programs.

It's not often I get to talk to rising Student Affairs professionals, let along as a professional myself. Often I encourage students I see to look into Student Affairs after the graduate, but the low salary factor seems to drive them into the arms of another field. When someone approaches ME about wanting to enter our profession, it definitely is an exciting moment.

We spent our time together discussing how she got interested in Student Affairs -- through housing, orientation programs, different councils -- how she found programs to apply to -- through ACPA's graduate program listing -- and all reasons to pick a program. I gave her advice on personal statements, as well.

During our chat, I found myself giving example after example from my own experience as an undergrad interested in Student Affairs, applying to grad school, and then as a grad student. I kept telling myself "hey, you know YOUR experience isn't EVERYONE's experience, right?" but it was hard not to reminisce, empathize, and laugh at my own memories. If the past three years of my life heading into this field can be helpful to anyone pursuing Higher Ed as a profession...well, I'm an open book. Here are a few pieces of insight:

1. Think about the big picture of the next 2 years of your life.
Where do you want to be living? What support systems will you have around you? Is your program structured to have strong, tight-knit cohorts or independent commuters or online classmates -- and which style appeals? Will you need a paid assistantship or internship to survive on? Does your program support or require this to help with that dilemma? What kind of campus appeals to you -- big, small, urban, rural, athletically driven, greek heavy, residential, commuter...? Where do you want to gain experience, now that you've lived out your time as a student on one type of campus? As a senior in undergrad, I had every intention of going straight though to the Higher Ed master's program at my institution. It was only after a current grad student in the program encouraged me to look at other schools in other states that I found what would end up being a better fit for me geographically and academically. I ended up choosing an institution that had many similarities to my own undergraduate school, so I knew I would have to supplement this with internship experiences at schools that were different enough to make me a well-rounded candidate after graduation. The program I chose helped us apply for assistantships right away, and the city we moved to allowed both my significant other and me to expand our professional networks. Though there are things I know I would have loved about other programs, I'm glad I took the time and the risk to try something different for grad school and make the most of my two years there.

2. Try to narrow down your Student Affairs research or practice interests coming into a program.
Though you'll no-doubt shift and change as you try new things along the way, grad programs like to see you have a focus and passion for the field, beyond wanting to stay on a college campus forever. This will be important, too, as you apply for para-professional opportunities. If you are passionate about Greek Life, but have been more active in Residence Life during your time as a student, you will have to do some convincing as to why you want to work in that functional area and how you can contribute. I'd encourage you to interview current Greek Life professionals (for example) at your institution and get their coaching as to how to break into the field. Do some reading (Chronicle of Higher Ed, Inside Higher Ed, research pieces, and books) on your new favorite function and start diving in. Just like I tell students who are English majors who want to get into Finance...start getting on the same level as your future employers. Read what they read, attend the events they attend, become part of the culture. Same for Higher Ed.

3. On the flip side, be sure to explore a number of areas of Student Affairs along the way.
Even as I applied to full-time positions in my function of choice, I had many comments on how great it was that I had experience with a number of other areas within Student Affairs. If nothing else, it showed my curiosity and versatility, as well as the fact that I could help to partner with these other types of constituencies on my future campus, since I understood them better from the inside. Even if you take your assistantship in Residence Life, be sure to do internships in other areas of interest -- Student Health, Career Counseling, First Year Programs. Make yourself marketable by concentrating on one passion, but building your transferable skills and the big picture of how you could be useful to an office or campus community.

4. Take the differences between "Research," "Counseling," and "Theory-to-Practice" grad programs seriously.
Which type of program you choose can really shape your experience there and the way you spend your time during grad school. If you hate doing research, don't only apply to programs that make you write a thesis. If you are more into administration than working with students in an advising capacity, counseling programs may feel too "touchy-feely" for you. If you definitely want internships and assistantships to be part of your experience, Theory-to-Practice programs are often great places to look. Looking back to my original grad school plans, I am so thankful now that I chose the program I did, because I would have hated the Research focus of my initial institution.

I'm sure my own experience as a higher ed grad student will pop up as stories and advice a few more times during my time as a blogger, but I hope these at least get you started. For those who are in the field as professionals now, how did you approach and experience the aforementioned tips and questions during your own journey? Which made the biggest impact on your grad school experience and job search process? I'd love to read your thoughts on the matter.

Things I enjoy about Student Affairs folks

2009-11-14T08:29:00.004-05:00

After an area Student Affairs social and 2 conferences in the past few weeks, I've come up with a few conclusions about people in our field:

1. We appreciate the need for nametags.
Whether sticky, magnetic, hanging, or pin-on, we know how much easier and less awkward it is when you can quickly glance down to remember the name of the person you've been chatting with. I know I am horrible with names, and that my name can be hard to remember/pronounce, so I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks nametags are a must at any Student Affairs event.

2. There's about an 80% chance that whoever you meet in Student Affairs knows somebody else you know.
Oh yeah, we went to grad school together! or I met them at NASPA 2 years ago! or We serve on a committee together! or I've read their articles! or They worked in Residence Life with me my first year out of school. There always seems to be a connection, and it's a great way to start or keep conversations going. Networking is always working its magic in our field.

3. You hardly ever have to worry about awkward silences or finding someone to keep the conversation going.
As stated in previous posts, there are quite a few "Extroverted" personality types in Student Affairs. Most of us love being around people, love attention, love laughing out loud, love having fun. We enjoy being at the center of what's going on, having inside jokes, and being included. At any Student Affairs event, if you don't want to be the life of the party, no doubt someone will take the pressure off and take that role on. Moments of silence are often few and far between.

4. We are huggers.
I don't thin this one needs much of an explanation, beyond the fact that if you are one who is happy to give and receive affection, Student Affairs may be your perfect work environment. Hugs, praise, and "snaps" are much more readily available than in your corporate office, research setting, or store.

5. It's always 5 o'clock somewhere.
Whenever I go out with Student Affairs folks, there is never shyness about heading to the bar for a pint of beer, a glass of wine, or a berry margarita. Not sure if it's the fact that we spend most of our time setting good examples for college students, and when we get together it's finally time to let loose, but it's easy to notice the party vibe when SA colleagues get together off-campus.

6. We participate and back each other up.
There definitely seems to be a willingness to volunteer in Student Affairs. Whether it's agreeing to attend someone else's program, offering to help out at an event, or being vocal when a colleague asks for input. It is in our nature to not leave our peers hanging, and to step in when needed. It's nice to know that when you need help with something, Student Affairs friends will reach out to give you a hand.

How you know you took the right job

2009-11-09T20:38:00.006-05:00

I was actually excited to get back to work this morning.

When I haven't seen family members or close friends in a while, I often get a twinge of sadness that grips at the back of my throat and squeezes my chest. It's my body's way of telling me that I really miss someone -- that a small piece of my heart and happiness is somewhere else. After spending half of last week at a conference, and then a few more days out of town for the weekend, I found myself surprised to recognize that familiar feeling...in regards to my coworkers! Walking from my car to the office today, I was looking forward to seeing everyone again and catching up. I knew they would be excited to hear about my weekend. Though I did end up enjoying the conference, getting to meet new folks and attend interesting programs, after spending so much time with strangers, it was great returning home. In a few short months, my coworkers have become my friends. We can joke around one moment, and buckle down to work on a project the next. We invite each other to lunch, share credit and candy, and lift each other out of funky moods. It's a great environment to work in, and I feel very lucky to be part of it.

For me, whether or not I'm happy in a given situation always depends on the people surrounding me. So when it comes to feeling like I made the right decision choosing this field, this office, this job...I look at the supportive, challenging, fun relationships I've created with my coworkers and know for sure I'm where I was meant to be. To give myself a LITTLE credit, I didn't walk into this work environment blindly, hoping for the best. I conducted a number of "informational interviews" with those who would be my future coworkers first, both to become a familiar face AND to see if I would be a good fit for the office culture. Informational interviews are more-or-less short, structured, purposeful conversations that are motivated by advice and information gaining and often result in relationships worth nurturing. I would encourage any Student Affairs grad student or job-seeking professional to capitalize on the idea of informational interviewing. You'd be surprised at how many people, especially in our field, are willing to offer insight, tell their story, and help you connect with others. During your 20 or 30-minute conversation, I would suggest asking a handful of open-ended questions, such as:

*How did you decide to enter this field?
*What do you like best about your job?
*Describe your day-to-day work life. Is it what you expected?
*What do you wish you would have known before starting this job?
*How do you think my experiences/qualifications compare to what is needed to succeed in your functional area?
*What is the most challenging part of your job?
*How would you describe the office culture here?
*How relevant was your graduate school coursework or assistantship experience to what you're doing now?
*What advice do you have for me as I head into the field?
*Do you know anyone else that would be good for me to talk with?

Hopefully your informational interview will be the first of many interesting, mutually-beneficial interactions, but even if it is a one-time deal, you will no doubt have learned a lot about your conversation partner, where they work, and your professional potential within their office, institution, or functional area. Besides being informative, these types of "interviews" are usually pretty enjoyable, if you can let yourself relax. The more it feels like two colleagues talking...the better things are going. This is true for interviews of all kinds.

After conducting multiple informational interviews at my current office, and liking each person I met along the way, I knew this would be a special place to take the next step in my Student Affairs career. Not that every day is perfect or I love everything every coworker says and does each day, but on the whole, we make a wonderful team. They are people I miss when I travel, and that make it fun to return to a 40+ hour work week. With a bit of informal research, thoughtful consideration, and honest evaluation, I believe new and seasoned professionals alike can find their best fits before heading into the formal interview process. They just need to conduct some interviews of their own!

Mixed Emotions

2009-11-03T20:44:00.002-05:00

You would think I'd be one to enjoy conferences.

As a Student Affairs junkie since undergrad, it would seem that any event bringing together like-minded student affairs-y people would be cause for celebration; it would feel like home. But I'm on the fence. It kind of depends on the vibe. When I was a freshman in college, I attended a leadership conference and had a horrible time. I ended up leaving a day early because I felt lonely and out of place, even though I'd been a "leader" as long as I could remember, and even though I had always been good at making friends. For some reason, things just didn't click, and it's left me a bit shaken up over the "conference" concept ever since.

Less than a year into my graduate program, I attended ACPA's annual conference, and it was definitely an interesting experience. Besides the fact that I roomed with a classmate I was concurrently having an awkward falling-out with, and we had to travel about 8 hours each way to get there, I did learn quite a bit. As someone who was used to being the talkative member of any group, ACPA gave me a chance to be a bystander, to just absorb. I attended as many programs as possible, ranging in topic from how to effectively reach out to male students, to how to manage the quarter-life crisis. I picked up valuable tips and ideas that I've carried with me into many consequent conversations, projects, and presentations. But I wouldn't say I loved the experience. It reminded me of the first few days of summer camp -- you feel quieter than normal, wanting to fit in and be included, and you're overly enthusiastic to see a familiar face. I've heard that if one is thrown into a situation where they feel uncomfortable or threatened, they often revert to the Myers-Briggs type (E vs. I) that is opposite of their true self. If I'm not careful, I often find myself caught in this trap at conferences. Not that I don't enjoy sitting back and listening, but networking and meeting people is SUPPOSED to be half of the fun and value of these things...right?

In a more positive circumstance, I left a regional conference last year feeling both energized and connected. I met a few new people, and was proud to realize how many area professionals I already knew (and knew me!). I participated, I introduced people to one other, and I had meaningful conversations. It was a very good day, and it solidified my commitment to Student Affairs. So what made this experience different from the ones I had at ACPA and during college? Was it really the size difference in the conferences? Was it my own take-charge attitude at the start of my job search, versus being in the mindset of a first-year student (grad or undergrad)? Did I psych myself out for the national conferences but let myself have fun at the regional conference? Was it the people around me at each event? I tend to put a lot of emphasis on other people, and sometimes let the attitudes I perceive others having about me take over how I feel about myself and the given situation. I'd like to THINK that I can have control over how my conference experiences shape up -- that I can make it a great couple of days, full of making connections, learning new things, and having fun. So that's how I'll approach this weekend's conference -- Hoping for the best...and PLANNING for the best. I'll let you know how it goes :).

What Students Need From Us

2009-10-28T19:31:00.006-04:00

A hug, a smile, free food, a kick in the butt?

As someone who meets and works with students on a daily basis, I often catch myself feeling anxious that I may not know all the right answers to their questions. It's hard not to want to go on their job interviews for them, or hand them opportunities on silver platters. I've had students who are so far in their shell, it's hard for me as someone who loves students to relate to them...so it's painful to imagine how the cold, cruel world will respond. Looking back on the past few students I've worked with, no matter what they came into my office to learn, ask, test, or find out, they all really NEEDED the same thing from me: confidence.

The Millennial generation is known for being confident by nature...but this relates to the other "core traits," being 'sheltered' and being told they are 'special.' When these young adults come to college, let alone when they start applying for jobs, suddenly they find themselves being one in a crowd of many capable, impressive students. Their parents can't be there to give them a hug prior to every interview or exam (at least...hopefully not...because that probably wouldn't be the healthiest relationship, ha). And friends are often be so absorbed in their own trials and tribulations, they can't be fully supportive. So who can these students turn to when they're in need of cheerleaders? Student Affairs professionals like to think it's us! But even when you've made a career of understanding and promoting student development, having a nervous, angry, or confused student in your office can leave one speechless.

We can't be experts in every career or major. We can't make a student get over a break up or convince them things will be alright just because we've lived through similar experiences. We can't make tests and projects run more smoothly. We can't predict the future. So should we feel powerless? No! What we CAN do for students is remind them (or show them, if they can't recognize it) how great they are -- how smart, funny, creative, thoughtful, mature...special! We can offer an outside perspective on their strengths, and push them to actively work on their weaknesses. We can give them an outlet. We can make them feel important by remembering their names and inviting them to programs. We can give them tough love or a safe place to crash, being sensitive to their ever-changing needs. We can treat them as adults, or as kids who just want to have fun, whichever they prefer that day.

As Student Affairs professionals, we can't always protect our students from failure or danger...but we can show we care in many different ways. It's often the little things we do for our students that mean more to them than the grand gestures -- the offer to help them prep for a presentation, or wishing them good luck in their club sports game, or answering their emails quickly, or engaging them in conversations when we see them around campus. What our students need from us...is us. And while we work to continue learning and improving in our professions, as long as we are truly present for our students, we can rest assured we're on the right track.

Programming: Big or Bust?

2009-10-26T20:07:00.004-04:00

It's hard not to get discouraged when hosting a program with 3 attendees.

In the Student Affairs world, putting on programs is a great way to be creative and address the needs of multiple students in one place. Some of my best work has come out of workshops and seminars that I take time and effort to cater to my students. However, attendance can be a factor in how successful we feel a program went. In our field, it's often a struggle between getting "bang for your buck" in regards to student attention and staff time, vs. helping individual students, seeing each person as being as valuable as a crowd.

Recently, my campus colleagues and I have put together a series of programs geared towards a certain undergraduate population. We advertised in the traditional ways -- email, online event calendar, newspaper ad -- as well as some additional student-focused tactics such as Facebook events and word-of-mouth during appointments. Despite our efforts, over the course of 3 one-hour sessions, we've seen a total of just over 20 students. It's hard not to feel disappointed when the room isn't packed with students ready to learn, and no doubt some might consider such a poorly-attended program a waste of time...but should it be that way? The programs themselves had excellent content, delivered with enthusiasm and care. We had thoughtful discussions, prompting our students to think about things they likely never have in regards to their future plans and cultural backgrounds. Staff members and students learned from the development and delivery of the program, and the evaluations were positive. So why is this not enough? Why does it take a packed house to make us feel worthwhile as presenters? Would the students have felt comfortable enough to ask questions surrounded by 30 peers instead of 3? Would we have had time to go around and get the opinions and perspectives of each participant if there were 5x as many people in the room? Probably not.

As an "E" (extrovert, via Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) by nature, I am apt to judge a party by the number of people there, and generally delight more in having multiple acquaintances than a handful of confidants. Sometimes it feels like Student Affairs is an "E" field itself, with the goal of touching as many students as possible, though often not assessing how deeply our connections and efforts actually go. Thus the need for literal assessment. I think we as a profession can learn a lesson from the "I's" (introverts) and begin valuing more intimate conversations, investing in a select number of significant student relationships, and allowing students to learn and grow on their own timelines and in their own ways (via computer, book, online chat, individual discussion, large-scale seminar, experience, small-group workshop, etc.)

Though advertising events and services is a beast of it's own, I'm going to work to be visibly pleased with whatever number of students choose to spend their time at my programs. They each could have easily been sleeping, studying, hanging out with friends, or eating. Since they chose to attend my program instead, I will strive to always greet them with energy, respect, and a dynamic presentation style. Maybe once I change my own reactions to smaller turn-outs, I can begin shifting the perception in my office and in our field from feeling like a program has to be "big or bust," to one that values the opportunity to impact individual student lives in creative, fun ways...one at a time.

Little Moments

2009-10-20T21:05:00.005-04:00

I love my job.

Some days it's hard to remember that little fact, especially when I have back-to-back meetings or didn't sleep well the night before, but it's true. My work week is filled with lots of little moments that remind me why I chose this as my career. Most of these moments involve my students.

One of the first appointments I held at my current institution was with a student who decided he was interested in consulting, though it was clear he didn't have the confidence to convey that decision to potential employers. I've worked with him in person and via email over the past few months to improve his interview skills, research companies that could be a good fit, and help boost his self-esteem. He popped into my office last week to talk about his upcoming second-round interview with a consulting firm, and we talked through how he would approach this new situation. Yesterday he sent me an email telling me things went well at the interview with the first company, and announcing that he'd also gotten an on-site interview with his #1 choice company! I could sense his happiness through the computer screen, and I had to smile. It made me feel great to know he was projecting so much confidence and performing well during interviews. I was also thrilled he thought to share his successes with me, unsolicited. I often check our computer system to see which of my students have gotten interview offers, and then email them my congratulations. I also make a point to check in with those who didn't get the interviews they really wanted, and tell them I'd love to sit down and make a new game plan with them moving forward. My students' progress is often on my mind, so it's a welcome surprise when they think of me and want to share good news.

A similar moment worth smiling about occurred this afternoon. A student leader I work with ran into my office beaming. She was thrilled to report that she'd received multiple interview offers last night and just came by to share the news. My mind flashed back to the first few weeks we had been working together. I remember her running to another counselor on staff she had known for years and telling them about an interview she'd secured. I distinctly remember feeling a pang of jealousy that she didn't come to me to celebrate. But then I felt silly, because I had not known her very long. I care about others very quickly, but it sometimes takes them a while to realize that, and to care back. I am happy to confirm that I've put enough effort into my relationship with this student for them to begin seeing me as the cheerleader and confidant I strive to be.

In Student Affairs, our life's work is spent supporting the students around us, and our rewards are mostly intrinsic. Though it's easy to go through each day's tasks and see work as something we do to pay the bills between weekends, I realize how lucky I am to be in a field that has great interpersonal meaning, purpose, and value. As difficult as it may be to wake up before the sun each morning, I am energized by the fact that I get to be a creative, caring, and constant source of encouragement for college students. For me, getting a thank you note, being recognized by my supervisor, or having a student choose me to share in their happiness...it's just icing on the cake.

Work friends

2009-10-14T19:59:00.002-04:00

So I was thinking of hosting a social event at my place after work.

I nailed down the date and time, and what I wanted to serve. Then I started drafting the email to invite my coworkers, and I got stuck. Who should I invite? Everyone? Just a few people? Not everyone likes wine. Some are younger, some are older. Some have families to take care of each evening. And there's that one person I don't really care for. But I can't invite some and not others can I? I'd feel badly if I only invited a few, and then one of those not invited found out and thought it was personal...when really I just figured they wouldn't attend, so I didn't ask. It's complicated!

This type of decision speaks to the awkwardness of work friends vs. regular friends. You spend 8+ hours a day with your coworkers, often laughing at inside jokes, venting about issues only those in your office would understand, eating together, and checking in throughout the day. But does and SHOULD this camaraderie carry over into home life? Is it smart and healthy to make weekend plans with coworkers, or should you have other friends to occupy this time -- balance things out? It's probably a similar question to "should you and your spouse work together?" For some people, it could be a perfect situation; for others, it could lead to annoyance, frustration, boredom.

What is the benefit of blending work friendships with personal friendships? You know you have things in common and topics to discuss. It could make the workday more enjoyable. It's nice to have deeper conversations, and people who understand the pressures you face in and out of the office. It's definitely a super social approach...And the negative? Talking and thinking about work TOO much and not really relaxing, maybe? Finding it hard to balance supervisor/supervisee or leadership relationships because you're afraid to throw off the friendship? Reduced productivity because you'd want to talk more during the day? Who knows. Probably depends on the office dynamic and the individuals involved.

For now, I've been limiting my coworker contact to directly after-work activities, and it seems like many of my colleagues are following the same pattern. We have a holiday or birthday celebration here and there, and some have gone together to conferences or scheduled playdates for their respective children. But for the most part, we choose to cherish our relationships with one another within the confines of campus. Being someone who enjoys being around people at all hours of the day, I can definitely see things shifting in the years to come, but it's definitely something I'm on the fence with at the moment.

Can't go home again: Revisited

2009-10-11T18:49:00.002-04:00

In the age of Facebook, what would be the motivating factor in attending your high school reunion?

I just finished reading my cousin's blog, in which she wondered quizzically why someone would ever be motivated to return to their former workplaces. This struck a chord with me, since I did just that this past week. My first graduate assistantship ended on less than perfect terms, since the rift between the other GA in the office and myself led to things being tense with my otherwise awesome boss. I walked out my office door that spring and barely spoke with my supervisor, let alone came back to the building where we worked together, for almost a year and a half. However, when I got her email two weeks ago, inviting me to a reunion dinner for those who worked in our living-learning community, I found myself enthusiastically RSVPing "yes."

So what's the difference between now and any other time in the past 17 months? Well, I'd be lying if I said that being happy and successful in my new job hasn't boosted my confidence and nipped away at my bitterness towards people who weren't 100% supportive along the way. I've worked hard, made friends and good impressions, and finally feel like I'm in a good spot professionally. When I walked into the room Monday night, smiles and conversation came easy with my former boss. I could tell she was genuinely happy for me, and I was able to level with her as a peer, instead of a student. It was a good feeling, and I'm very glad I decided to accept her invitation.

So why WOULD those of us in the Facebook generation attend our high school reunions? We can easily see who's gotten married, who's having kids, who's working where, and what they're doing each weekend...all with the click of a mouse. I'll say that after my own Student Affairs reunion this past week, I understand how nice it can be to actually hug, laugh, and converse like adults -- able to share your own successes and visibly delight in someone else's, whether you've stayed close over the years or not. I now look forward to other such meetings in the future.

Rewards for being a team player

2009-10-08T20:28:00.006-04:00

I find it hard to rely on people.

I care a lot about others -- whether they are happy, healthy, feeling included. In my few months as a new professional, I have fallen quickly into my old habits of planning social events for the group, sending messages to others to see how their day is going, and volunteering for things to take the weight off others' shoulders. These are not BAD habits, but they can sometimes leave me spread thin. I find it creates MORE stress for me, in most situations, to NOT be helping -- to know that there is a need I could meet for someone. At most any party or group gathering, I am much more comfortable jumping into the kitchen and rolling up my sleeves than sitting at the table waiting to be served. I am a host at heart.

It is this attitude that has brought me close to many of my coworkers. But it is also the vantage point that leaves me feeling awkward, uncertain, or guilty asking OTHERS for help. Even when it's someone's job to be a support person on staff, I never feel quite right asking them to do my marketing, or reserve my rooms for me, or make copies. But on a big staff like mine, those tasks are simply not designed to be part of my job, the way they were when I was a grad student. Sometimes I wonder, even 10 years from now, when I am supervising others and need to delegate for sheer sanity's sake, if I'll ever be able to feel justified in asking for help, when I know I could technically do something myself.

Recently, I was taken aback by my coworkers. I have been working for months on a multi-session program and my supervisor firmly requested I ask the rest of the staff to help me put the program on. I sent out an email through our listserv detailing the program plan and asking if anyone wanted to pitch in. Though I should not have assumed nobody would reply, I felt everyone was as busy as I was and that I would probably just end up getting things done on my own.

3 days later, I am happy to say that I had 6 people offer to help out! Thinking back on the past 12 weeks, I see that this may be my unsolicited and unexpected reward for being "a good team player." I have volunteered to help each of these people with projects and presentations, many at the last minute. Though I viewed those actions as simply part of my nature, knowing I am calmed when others are set at ease, clearly my coworkers felt the need to support me, too. I am proud and pleased to be a member of my staff, and am humbly reminded that if I ever need a hand, I should swallow my pride, trust in my team...and just ask.

Should we make a coffee date?

2009-10-04T18:33:00.007-04:00

Trying to stay fit as a new student affairs professional has been a challenge.

During the 2 months between finishing grad school and starting my new job, I was working out 3-5 days a week. I was feeling healthy and proud of my own determination. Somehow, though, each weight check in left me confused at the stagnant scale. Looking back, the stress of not having a job nailed down, AND having more time to go out to eat with friends for lunches and dinners were the likely culprits.

Upon starting work, I quickly found multiple excuses for trading workouts for eating and watching back-to-back episodes of House Hunters. I reminded myself that I now spent about 20 minutes getting to and from the parking lot, which was twice as much as my grad school daily walk. Surely that was enough to balance out my sluggish evening habits. However, part of making a successful transition into Student Affairs life happened to involve meeting with colleagues and contacts for lunches, coffees, smoothies, ice cream...you get the picture. During my first few weeks, I was buying food on campus at least once a day. I blamed the inconvenience of not owning a lunch box yet...but really, it was fun! I've always been a fan of socializing and trying new places to eat, and getting paid to do both was amazing. With a pending wedding and a dwindling bank account, though, I knew I had to start changing my ways.

Fast forwarding to October, I've come to realize that it's still fun to meet someone on campus for coffee, even if I decide not to order any. Sometimes my colleagues and I bring our lunches from home and eat outside, which is just as nice as being in a dining hall or restaurant. Increased responsibility and student traffic has left me with much less time to eat and snack throughout the day, too. I try to bring small, healthy snacks to have in the morning and in the afternoon to keep from feeling starved by the time I get home for dinner. Some of my favorites are homemade trailmix, carrots and hummus, and string cheese.

Lastly, I took advantage of my institution's Human Resources division, which has health and fitness programs and incentives for faculty and staff. I am currently enrolled in a program that gives rewards for taking walks during the work day. Turns out it's both fun AND healthy to peel oneself away from the computer for a few minutes every so often. Luckily, I can almost always find a coworker to join me, since they are just as happy to have an excuse to rest their eyes and stretch their legs.

I am happy to report that I've lost about 5 pounds in the past month by making some small changes in my day-to-day routine. I'm nowhere near perfect when it comes to nutrition and working out, but I'm definitely being more conscious of my choices. I am working to trade indulging in the perks of being a Student Affairs staff member that involve pizza, donuts, and my new laptop for those that involve friendship, laughter, and fitness.

A place to land

2009-09-30T19:36:00.019-04:00

I should have enjoyed May more.

I remember sitting at graduation, surrounded by the 20 peers I lived, learned, played, and fought with for the past 2 years, unable to shake the feeling of melancholy. I knew it was a special day, and Lord knows my family treated it as such when they ran to the front of the room to snap pictures of me in my cap, gown, and light blue hood...but my heart wasn't in it. At that point, maybe 10% of my cohort could answer the "what are you doing after graduation?" question without visibly cringing, and as relieved as we were to be DONE with papers and projects and 3-hour classes...we didn't have answers. And it sucked. As a bitter and disjointed whole, we felt exhausted and unfulfilled. Little did we know how quickly and drastically things would shift in a positive direction. Maybe if we had...we could have relished our last summer breaks before diving head-first into the real world.

I'm about to hit the three-month mark at my dream job. Crazy, right? Sometimes I sit at staff meetings and have to pinch myself because I spent nearly a year trying to win over the people sitting around me at the table. And I did. And here I am, doing what I love and set out to do. It's amazing and terrifying at the same time, because as a member of the Millennial generation, the idea of not living up to expectations (my own, or worse, everyone else's) is unsettling at best.

If you had asked me 6 months ago if I could have done my current job with my eyes closed, I would have smiled and said "of course!" I had a great assistantship where I felt I was both making a difference and impressing those around me. I'm learning quickly, though, that life as a full-time Student Affairs professional is a bit different than I expected, for better and for...interesting.

I've learned that working 45 hours a week is VERY different from working 20 hours a week. When I started this job, I told myself there was no way I was going to be able to fill 8 hours a day. My 5-hour assistantship work days were excruciating, even with GMAIL and Facebook to fill the gaps between students, programs, and meetings. I'm a quick emailer, a fast talker, and a task-oriented team member. If nothing else, I figured I would breeze through each day's to-do list and be bored by 3pm. WRONG. Between student appointments, program planning, meetings, workshops, checking email, talking to coworkers, connecting with colleagues, and eating on occasion, the days have been flying by. I never thought I could get used to getting up at 6:30, or driving 30 minutes to work each day, or missing Chelsea Lately because I needed to be asleep before 11...but somehow I have. Thank goodness for DVR, NPR, and my trusty alarm clock.

Another big, ever-reinforced lesson: relationships are key. I tell my students this all the time, but both during and after my own job search, I have found it to be truer every day. I consider myself to be a people person, and I enjoy talking, and networking, and going to social events. But when you work full-time in Student Affairs, your coworkers become your work family, and your contacts become friends with a purpose. Monday through Friday, I spend more time with the people in my office than I do with my significant other (9 hours a day vs. 5 hours if i'm lucky). I have taken special care to really get to know the people around me, to truly listen when they answer "how are you?," and squelch conflicts at first inkling. I've had enough awkward, testy, tense coworker situations in my years as an intern and grad assistant to know by now what I need to do to make the most of my working relationships. As for the people I knew before I took this job and those am meeting along the way, it's a conscious effort to keep in touch, nurture relationships, and be a name that people recognize and remember fondly. It's funny how I felt like a "bigger fish" during my job search than I do now...maybe because I worked so hard to stay on people's minds, agendas, and LinkedIn news feeds. Now that I've settled into my job, I have to remember to stay engaged with those who helped me along the way, and become a friend to those I hope to work with some day.

For me, private and public institutions have also proven to be quite different. Specifically private liberal-arts colleges vs. public research universities. As someone who spent the bulk of my college experience (as student and para-professional) in public settings, my job at a private institution has opened my eyes to a whole new set of cultural norms, both for students and faculty/staff. Before coming to my current college, I had never once heard a student recount his or her parent telling them "we paid such-and-such THOUSAND dollars for you to go to school here, so you need to make (insert expected astronomical salary) when you graduate." Students share this expectation matter-of-factly, but typically with a tremble in their voice that could be nervousness, could be fear, could be creeping insanity. There is definitely a lot of pressure for students at this type of institution, not only to succeed, but to do so [seemingly] effortlessly. My boss often makes the joke that "half of the class always ends up in the bottom half of the class" and how upset that 50% of students is to find themselves there. Besides having the burden of continuing to display the academic prowess they were famous for in high school, students have an additional financial weight on their shoulders, as compared to their public university peers. This is no small pressure in today's economy where jobs, let alone high paying jobs for recent grads, are increasingly hard to come by.

As for the way the faculty and staff operate, I've found the system to be much more intertwined and centralized than at the public institutions I've worked for before. Everybody knows everybody, and while collaboration and cross-programming are emphasized at every turn, one must also be careful to respect the hierarchy and delicate balance of power. I must say that all-in-all, working at a private liberal arts institution has proven wonderful. Our students are brilliant and creative, and they challenge me every day. There is a lot more open-mindedness among faculty and staff when it comes to diversity of race, religion, and lifestyle, and change is not hard to come by if you play your cards with passion and finesse. Resources seem a bit easier to secure, and people truly want to work together across campus. Though it has been a great shift from what I was used to before, I am very happy to be where I'm at.

Looking at the Facebook profiles of my fellow graduate cohort members, we have all landed somewhere. If we had held off our worries until July or August, we would have seen that it was only a matter of time before we all moved on to the next exciting chapter in our lives as Student Affairs professionals. Even those who didn't know in June are now settling into their jobs as Director of This, or Program Coordinator of That. What were we so freaked out about? Why did we waste so much time stressing out and feeling out of control? December 2008 through July 2009 proved to be months filled with uncertainty, disappointment, good-byes, and finally triumphs and celebrations. I may be on solid ground now, but the job search process and my first few months as a full-time professional in the field have taught me how to have and display humility, empathy, and hope.

Like many of the students I work with now, I spent the better part of the past few years feeling very sure of my path: I would do well in undergrad, go to graduate school, and eventually work on a college campus. Well now I'm here. I made it. So what's next? How do I make the most of the gift I've been so graciously offered, proving my value, staying current and passionate, and shifting my focus to becoming someone not just worth hiring, but worth keeping, and knowing, and trusting. I look forward to seeing where this year takes me.